Monday, March 10, 2008

of drama queens and artistic guys


For the sake of everyone watching the Apprentice Africa, i hope the humour continues. Its so unintended making it so much better, take for instance Omar's wonderful question “If you could choose any animal-what animal best describes Bank PHB?” I would pay to have been in that room at that moment but i might have fallen off my chair in laughter. Don't get me wrong, i appreciate the guy's artistic ability but lets just say, it was a little misplaced. If you saw the executives he was talking to, its hard to comprehend how he could have come up with such a question, makes you wonder, what was going on in his mind???
The mix in personalities is amazing and now that these personalities are starting to come out, its getting more interesting and i am sure it will get even better. One thing worries me though, the way things are going in 7 weeks, there may not be a Matrix corp. The show's producers seriously need to think of a new way of dividing the contestants. If necessary, let them draw lots! Matrix corp has too many issues at the moment and i honestly don't see things getting any better and now that Mr Shobanjo has dictated that Blessing is to be the next project manager.......i am going to church....to pray for Matrix corp.
Am sorry Blessing but what was that in the boardroom? For a moment there, i thought i was watching a scene from some horrendous Nigerian movie, all the drama! Anyone looking for movie ideas, here's a good one "confessions of a full grown drama queen" starring Blessing Njoku. It was an oscar winnning performance. Blessing would make a brilliant actress, she is excellent at the blame game and "the whole world is against poor little me"
She claims there is a clique in the house and blah blah blah so she could not voice her ideas........ to echo one of my favourite quotes "You only get out of it what you put into it. If you are a sheep in this world, you're not going to get much out of it" Greg Norman.
I am not writing her off, am still waiting to see her do her best, this next week will be a great opportunity. One thing is for sure though, if her team loses again, there'll be someone to blame, except herself of course and if the team wins, we will never hear the end of it, she's going to swell like a peacock!

The Apprentice Africa -Episode 2

So many times during this episode i had to physically pull my jaws together after they had fallen apart in shock and to constantly stop myself from laughing like a donkey. I am still trying to find the words to explain what happened this week, this is to simply say, am yet to understand it in totality. I think i should desist from going to the jaw dropping moments and try to head out chronologically.

Episode 2 began with an air of excitement. The guys were excited because of their win last week and their reward. On their way to Bank PHB where they were to meet Mr. Shobanjo, the guys were singing songs from Shaka Zulu "we are going higher and higher and higher...." and Isaac was saying how everyone of them was going to give 100% of themselves.
The girls had a lot of determined talk going on understandably due to their loss the previous week and they were still mourning and analysing what had gone wrong the previous week, needless to say, the guys' minivan was a much better place to be, i don't like funerals, most people don't!
Last week, one of my friends said that he hoped they were given more challenging tasks than selling ropes and balls, his words not mine. Anyway, this week, the contestants were given the task of developing a new viable financial product for Bank PHB. Mr Shobanjo emphasized that the bank thrived on ideas (you've seen their ads, haven't you?)

Deox in a very democratic move called a meeting of Zulu corp where he asked them to pick a project manager for their task. Isaac stepped up and was backed by the whole team although Akatu admitted skepticism at the beginning. I must say, I was impressed with Isaac's leaderships skills this week. As for Matrix corp, Michelle was their project manager, how they arrived at this decision, i don't know but apparently they felt it was warranted as she's a banker.

The two teams were each given a chance to sit with the bank's top management to ask any questions they might have in relation to their task. Among other things the guys asked whether there was any bank customer research available that they could use. The comic part of this Q&A was when Omar asked, in a very serious and confident tone i must add, which animal of all the animals best described Bank PHB! The guys were in shock and i was laughing myself senseless, the look on their faces was priceless. The bank manager seemed very taken aback, anyway, we never got to hear his response.
check this out www.theapprenticeafrica.com/journal_detail.php?id=13

Apparently there is a storm brewing in the house between Omar and Tunde (he was the one most flabbergasted by Omar's artistic expression at Bank PHB) Omar said "who does he think he is, my mother?" This was because he had walked into the room at about 6am waking everyone up. Tunde said it seemed like the guy didn't have a lid (or was that leash?) for his mouth! This deep seated animosity is bound to affect Zulu corp and provide us the viewers with an immense amount drama.
Eddie in his calm and collected tone identified Akatu as their weakest link citing that he is flamboyant, a lot of talk but when it comes down to the ground, he doesn't follow through with action.
This time round, the ladies were very organised, no cheerleading antics in sight. The team work was impressive. Michelle noted that the ladies all contributed in one way or the other. Their presentation was brilliant in execution but lacking in the clarity. I mean, i was awed, they seemed to know what they were talking about and they managed to convince me that PHB zoom was the best new thing although i hadn't really got what it was. It seemed to be a combination of SMS banking and a kind of credit card service.....forgive me but i am not going to lose you any further.

The guys had a looming disaster on the morning of the presentation. Nnamdi (apparently he is too loud and boisterous) was sent with Eddie to print and bind the material. Eddie was supposed to be the voice of reason in Nnamdi's craziness, this worked as they got everything done in time.It was interesting watching the two interact, they are as different as chalk and cheese, at one point, Nnamdi asked Eddie to help him knot his tie and one insider in his review wondered how Eddie managed to restrain himself from strangling the guy with his own tie, hilarious, hilarious!
The guys identified a large target market for their product (students) that would indeed earn the bank some good Naira. The liPHBenefit account (life benefit account) to my understanding is supposed to be a kind of student's account whereby the money saved by students can be later used to further their studies, start a business, whatever they choose. Anthony was saying something like for every one naira saved, the bank would give you one naira (not sure, i'll ask him whenever he gets out of the house, hopefully not soon, still need to hear him doing that naija accent)

The long and short of it is that the bank management didn't quite get what exactly the girls were trying to sell whereas they understood the guys' product better and saw its viability. In the end, the guys won the task, again! The atmosphere in the boardroom was mixed, the ladies were on the verge of tears and the guys were ecstatic, more so when they were told what their reward would be, an Afrobeat show with Femi Kuti himself, son to the legend Fela Kuti. The boys enjoyed their reward thoroughly, they partied away and even got to chat with Femi, when asked how many women he has, his answer was vague but i am sure we all got what he was trying to say, i mean, its understandable considering his sire.......

Back to the boardroom, the ladies seemed shocked that they had lost again and when asked why they failed, they admitted to playing it safe with the ideas. They decided to go with what was already in the market and developing it into a better product. Michelle said "there's hardly anything new in the market anymore" The CEO was quick to remind her that people bear ideas for this very reason. Michelle chose to bring back Nancy and Blessing into the boardroom, in her position as project manager, i think understand why she did this. Nancy blamed Michelle for being in her bed while the rest of the team slaved away. Nancy was critical, questioning their every move without contributing concrete ideas whereas Blessing, well, lets say, her contribution wasn't felt. When asked why this was, she had some crazy reasons saying that the leadership was ineffective, that there is a clique in the house and if you weren't part of that clique, your ideas were instantly shot down (how lame is that for an excuse?even Napoleon stood on a table when he thought his voice wasn't being heard)
The CEO said he is is tired of her complaints about the leadership and that if she survived then she would be the next project manager. In the end, he fired Michelle saying that as a leader you've got to take responsibility for the team. He also said there were too many products in the idea they presented and that they were bound to just confuse the customer instead of giving the customer one solid product. This reasoning is being questioned, a friend of mine says he thinks a basket of fruits would be more attractive to customers than just one fruit.....the jury is still out on that one. (Maybe he knows what he's talking about, I guess thats why he's CEO,right?)

In my honest opinion, there was nothing really brilliant about the guys' product only that it was more original than the ladies' product and i guess that's why they won. It was a question of whose idea was a little better than the other not whose idea was earth shatteringly brilliant.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Demonstration effect???


You remember these sun glasses, don't you?perhaps you even own a pair, right? Kanye West wore these designer sunglasses by Alain Mikli in his video for the song "stronger"
In all of his subsequent concerts, all the fans are wearing these sunglasses, its amazing. For the designer's sake, i would hope that everyone bought an original but how is that possible considering they are handmade and the concert had about 50,000 people…so they were obviously knock offs, kudos to the guy selling them at the entrance (am assuming that there was one)
Manolo
Blahnik shoes were made popular by the hit show "sex and the city" with Sarah Jessica Parker as the columnist Carrie Bradshaw who couldn't live without her Manolos. I think this kind of influenced my love for manolos (the shoes are gorgeous!!!)
But seriously, i am wondering, how far does the entertainment world influence our lives?
I have just heard that Rihanna has banned umbrellas from all her concert venues after a man was killed by a poisoned umbrella. She has reportedly stepped up security to prevent people from bringing in umbrellas to venues where she is performing. Now seriously, what is wrong with us? We love music, we love our stars, we treat them like gods but how far can this go??? I love the song “umbrella” but what would possess me to carry one to Rihanna’s concert? What’s the logic behind it? I really don’t see it.

Mourning......my shoes!

I could not believe it! There i was standing rooted to the spot in shock, staring at the piece of metal that had robbed me of my shoes. I know they were not Manolo Blahniks but i loved them! They were a strong, dependable, sexy yet classy pair of black heels. They have been with me through the good and bad times, they've been with me practically everywhere and now, they're gone......
I haven't gone mad and yes, i am mourning a pair of shoes. Two days ago, i put them on. They brightened up my rather gray morning and the day didn't seem so bad after all. Here's what happened.
Halfway through a meeting, i received an important phone call and the person on the other end requested to speak to someone who had just walked out of the room. In my haste to catch up with her, the heel of my left shoe got caught in a piece if protruding metal by the doorway. I surged forward and narrowly missed plastering my face on the ground below. Then i felt a sharp pain in my left leg and that's when i noticed that i had slightly twisted my ankle and that my shoe was broken!!!! Have you ever seen a broken shoe??? The tragedy at the moment was my broken shoe not my nearly broken leg or disfigured face! I still insist, i am not crazy, i am simply human, just like you.......
Have you ever noticed how attached we get to "things?" Everyone has that something, there are those ladies like me who just love their shoes. Guys love their cars. I find however that guys take this attachment way too seriously...they name their cars, etc and i have heard that some men will pick a car over a woman any day, i have heard! (but is it just hearsay?)
Reminds me of that song by Shania Twain "That don't impress me much" where the guy used to kiss his car goodnight and would ask her to take off her shoes before he let her get into the car.......

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

trying to please

What's that saying...."you can please everyone some of the time but you cannot please everyone all of the time....." or something to that effect. We all want to keep everyone happy with us, we want to be liked by everyone, blah blah blah.....well, some people do, not me. Some people want to keep everything rosy and not ruffle any feathers sometimes even letting people walk all over them.
Then, there are those who just don't care what you think, feel, say,etc in a diplomatic way of course, saying things like "we respect your views and opinions but this is the way things are,thank you" Hee hee, i could give you a more direct interpretation of this statement but then again, i think that line would be censored but you know what i mean......

Monday, March 3, 2008

Episode 1 - The Apprentice Africa

The premiere of The Apprentice Africa was interesting for so many reasons. For the first time ever, a show of world class standards was being done in Africa with everything African. African setting, African producers, African contestants, African CEO.
The CEO, a true African billionaire Biodun Shobanjo did his job to perfection in the premiere. He was no nonsense and if i was Nancy, i would watch out. He does not take kindly to "primadonnas" like Blessing and ineffective leaders like Nancy.

Anyway, let me bring you up to speed, i don't want to lose you. There are 18 contestants from across Africa, 7 Nigerians, 3 Ugandans, 3 Ghanaians, 3 Kenyans, 1 Guinean, and 1 Cameroonian.
The contestants are as follows;
  1. Omar - Guinea
  2. Regina - Ghana
  3. Akatu - Nigeria
  4. Anthony - Kenya
  5. Nancy - Uganda
  6. Michelle - Nigeria
  7. Eddie - Kenya
  8. Hannah - Ghana
  9. Oscar -Uganda
  10. Kathleen - Cameroon
  11. Isaac - Ghana
  12. Bekeme - Nigeria
  13. Tunde - Nigeria
  14. Blessing - Nigeria
  15. Deox - Uganda
  16. Joyce - Kenya
  17. Eunice - Nigeria
  18. Nnamdi - Nigeria
The contestants arrived and met the CEO, Mr Shobanjo and his advisers Mimi Fatodu and Paul Olaleye. They were then given their first group task under the watchful eyes of Paul and Mimi, putting together a small party area in the garden. It was interesting watching them trying to work together yet they had just met for the first time, the power struggles and egos made them take longer at the task than necessary but it was easy to see who had leadership qualities and those who had great organisational skills.

When the task was finally over and they were in the boardroom, the CEO asked how the contestants thought they did and who they thought was outstanding during the task, Nnamdi noted Nancy's ability to get things in order whereas Eddie noted Deox's ability to hold the team together and so two Ugandans were voted outstanding male and female. In turn, the contestants were divided by gender and Nancy was appointed project manager for the ladies and Deox for the guys. Kudos to Uganda!!!!! The first leaders in the house are both Ugandan!

The contestants were asked to choose names for their teams and the ladies chose Matrix corp with the rationale that a matrix is used to solve problems whereas the guys chose Zulu corp because of the strong African heritage of the name. Shobanjo noted that these were good choices and commended them for this. It's important to note that "matrix" was Bekeme's idea, i personally think she's one of those to watch.

Task 1: According to the CEO, life in Lagos is all about "hustle" and so the first task would involve the contestants "hustling" on the streets of Lagos. The guys were asked to sell skipping ropes whereas the ladies were asked to sell footballs, interesting, huh? The sole objective of the task was maximum sales and whichever team managed to achieve this would win the task and would be rewarded accordingly whereas the losers would end up in the boardroom where someone would be fired.

Zulu's strategy was to use health, fitness and patriotism whereas the ladies decided to use women supporting football in Africa. On paper, all of this sounded good but how well would it play out on the ground?

The ladies decided to stand at a high traffic point but i personally think this wasn't a good decision, the lights changed too fast and the traffic moved too fast for them to be able to convince the customers to buy. Oh and at the beginning they were in a group holding balls and singing "winner oh oh oh, winner....naija you'll win forever, pata pata you'll win forever winner....."
They managed to draw attention with this but did they sell balls? nope!

The guys on the other hand spread out and went out interacting with individual customers pushing the importance of fitness and supporting your country. However, at some point, the ropes seemed overpriced or are Nigerians just bargain junkies??? I don't know, i only think in terms of shillings not naira so i can't really tell. Anyway, the guys seemed to be doing well and Oscar even got a tip from a customer, Kudos Oscar (did i mention, he's Ugandan! Ha!!!)

Back to the Boardroom, when asked who he thought did best at the task, Deox was very confident saying that he believed his team had won the challenge by a margin of 64% and thank God the figures backed him up otherwise, that confident look would have been wiped clean off his face. So the guys won the challenge, they had more profits from the sales than the ladies.

Then the arguments began within Matrix corp about what or who was responsible for their failure, everyone somehow blamed Nancy's leadership, she on the other hand reiterated that she was not dealing with babies but grown women!
Kathleen's reasoning was so thoroughly trashed by Mr. Shobanjo that i wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Anyway, at the end of the back and forth, Nancy chose to bring back Hannah and Blessing into the boardroom. She cited Blessing's unwillingness to work as a group and her individualistic tendencies " I this, I that..."

Anyway, there was a lot of apportioning blame and when it was all over, Shobanjo said he could not understand how Hannah managed to sell nothing, not a single ball! Of course she tried to defend herself saying she could have sold the balls at a lower price than the agreed baseline which is mind boggling as the objective of any business is to make a profit, you cannot sell at a loss! On this basis, she heard the words "you're fired!"

Really, do you blame the CEO? I see his point, do you?