xena

Another Bank

2009-02-20T16:40:00.004+03:00

Another bank? Yes, another one. This you must read in regard to Barclays. In the last one year or so we have been bombarded with banks KCB, Global Trust, Fina Bank, UBA, Equity Bank, Ecobank and the latest addition to the pack, Bank PHB who’ve bought out Orient Bank.

Now, many Ugandans, I inclusive wonder why the Ugandan market is so aggressively being pursued by foreign banks especially the Nigerians. What do they know that they’re not telling us? In all of their interviews, these banks’ top officials say they see immense potential in Uganda and the East African region as a whole. If they were American, we would say they are on their quest for world domination! But they are our Naija and Kenyan brothers so let’s wait and see.

I have heard and I don’t remember who from exactly that they are mainly targeting oil wealth. It is said that they believe that in 5 years, the oil dollars / shillings will be flowing on the streets of Kampala. The reasoning behind the influx now is that if you already have an account with a given bank for 5 years or more, you are most likely to transact all your business through that bank, right? If such is the case then they really are more hopeful than some of us but still, I wonder, what do they know that we don’t?

So what exactly are they offering? I believe KCB had its niche with the Kenyans especially students of Kenyan origin in Ugandan institutions of learning. They also hit it big with the business community as many have dealings in Mombasa and Southern Sudan where the bank has branches. And then there was the Safaricom IPO, the bank actually offered people loans to buy shares so in they went running.

UBA’s premier offering was its freedom account, free banking they said. Free, that’s the catch phrase we Ugandans like to hear. What they were referring to was that for this particular account, there is no minimum opening balance, no monthly charges, etc. In short, if you deposit, 50,000 today then you’d still have the same account balance in 6 months, that’s if you didn’t withdraw or deposit more. Very welcome for people like myself who are completely convinced that the bank is committing robbery especially whenever I walk out of the ATM.

As for Equity and Fina Bank, I believe they have their niche in the SMEs and low income earners but they haven’t really said anything, thus we wait. Global trust, Ecobank we’ll just have to wait and see, right?

Ecobank had its official launch on 19th February 2009. Which Ecobank? Is it the same one that we saw on Big Brother and on Africa Magic, you ask? Yes, the very same one. Well, the official launch went past everyone who was watching, waiting. This was simply because of how it was done. The bank’s management decided to have a cocktail party at Serena hotel.

If you didn’t hear about it, well, perhaps that’s because it was not really a public launch (strictly by invite), the only public presence we could see were white Ecobank balloons tied using ribbons to shrubs on some of the city’s roundabouts. And you were lucky if you saw them because as the day went on, I believe most of them had succumbed to the wind such that by the time we were heading back home, there was one solitary one floating around the round about. Seeing this, my friend commented that it looked like it had fallen off the truck they were using to deliver them to a certain venue.

Life, oh life

2008-12-11T11:41:00.003+03:00

Life oh life......that song by Gabrielle keeps playing on and on in my mind.
The last few months have been extremely hard on me professionally and yesterday was not too good of a hard day. A friend of mine reminded me yesterday of the saying that if it can go wrong, then it will go wrong. I totally agree. Of late, everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong and i mean everything.

Ah well, Christmas is here. Hope that will help to make things a little better though I'm not feeling any of the good cheer, I'm certainly not in a festive mood. Don't see anything to celebrate, joy to the world...but no joy in my life.....so when i walk into Shoprite and its all covered in tinsel with background music to match, i want to scream and tear out my little tufts of hair.

Then the emails, merry Christmas all over the place but I'm thinking to myself, if there's no food, water or electricity, the whole merriment thing will be grossly dampened and so its back to the grindstone to try and make that money coz i ain't got it...

December is the month of weddings here in Kampala. I hear it is because its easier to get time off, more people will attend your wedding including friends and family from abroad. So there are wedding everywhere you look, invites all over the place. In fact, you have to carefully select whose wedding to attend as you more often than not have more than one to attend on a given Saturday or even Friday, perhaps, Wednesday... a friend of mine is getting married on 31st December, starting 2009 as Mrs is the plot.

Another friend of mine asked me earlier this year if I'd be a bridesmaid at her wedding. I said ye, thought it was a joke but the wedding is next weekend and i have tried as much as i can to get out of this bridesmaid thing and i have failed. I have to get fitted for my pink dress, shoes, blah blah. Am totally freaked out but I'm doing this for her. I keep having the feeling that on D-day i might become a runaway bridesmaid. See, I'm not comfortable being in the spotlight, i hate cameras, light, people's eyes...OK,I'm really shy, no one sees that. The whole confident look is merely a facade to hide the truth....Now,I'm imagining what the hairdresser is going to do to my beloved, uncomplicated dreadlocks, what the so called beautician will do to my very very complicated, sensitive and unyielding skin, all these things are freaking me out.

OK, Beyonce's video is on the TV right now, you know the one where she's wearing nothing but a modified swimming costume for lack of a better description. Single ladies, the song is called. Every time i watch this video, i am truly amazed by the creature that's Beyonce. She has so much confidence and energy that someone in the office i have temporarily moved into is convinced that she's on steroids or something but surely something. I am quite certain that if anyone wanted to lose lots of weight as well as their wits, all they have to do is watch the video enough, master the moves and go on to perform the same moves in heels every day and voila, supermodel bod and perhaps similar brain matter too......

Come to think of it, I'm thinking of dropping a few kilos so I'm going to get myself a full DVD of Beyonce's videos because they are all workout videos as far as I'm concerned. I have some pairs of heels that i could use thought I'm not sure my ankles will survive the torture. Well, you never know till you try, right? Am off to find that DVD collection.

Taxis!!!!!

2008-11-26T14:51:00.001+03:00

I am not sure whether it still exists but there used to be a feature in one of our dailies with someone narrating their experiences of our public transport system. These taxi journals seemed very cheerful compared to the experience I have but perhaps, the writer is just a cheerful soul and I’m not.

I don’t know if it’s just me but I seem to have the most horrible experiences, from near death to smelly armpits and crazy neighbours. At this point, I would like to issue a disclaimer, I am not a snob, I have used taxis for years but some things are too annoying and depressing.

On Monday evening, I left the office with a colleague. In an attempt to get home early, I decided not to wait for a ride from a certain good samaritan who usually saves me from sitting in a taxi. So we take a taxi into town. This particular taxi was to take us to the old taxi park where we were to board taxis to our respective areas of abode. As they are wont to do, the taxi driver decided to head on through Kampala road as there was traffic jam at down the road from steers and also down the road from radio one.

Passengers were requested to disembark and walk mpola mpola to the taxi park. I decided to walk to a nearby stage and wait for taxis to my home rather than push and shove in the park. After about 30 minutes, one did finally appear and to my delight, there was a free seat in the front. In I hopped, my heart filled with relief.

This however was very short-lived. No sooner had I settled into my seat than I started getting weird glances from my neighbour. I chose to ignore the strange man staring at me from head to toe, to my own detriment. This should have been my cue to jump right out but I am a patient person, right? I choose to believe that people are inherently good and mostly sane.

I was very, very, oh so very wrong. As we went on our journey from kampala road heading towards Ntinda, I experienced what I can only describe as torture for lack of a better word. This guy sitting next to me started off by rubbing his leg against mine. I don’t mean once in a while, I mean all through. I tried to ignore him and keep praying that my stop would come fast enough or that his would.

I almost jumped out of the window most of the time and I hated every single stop we made. I wanted to switch seats so badly but there was no free seat at any one point to switch to. I wanted to scream, in fact, I was screaming so loudly in my head; I was surprised that no one could hear.

I had had enough when his hand started roving, caressing my thigh…..thank God, I was wearing pants. I yelled maso awo so fast and loud and jumped out so fast that everyone thought I had ants in pants. I got out of the taxi at the Kisementi stage next to Zinellos, I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought of waiting amongst the crowd for another taxi and the preceding scenario played back in my mind. This is when I decided to walk home. I was wearing really high heels, over 4 inches but I didn’t mind. I just started walking. I walked till I got home and I didn’t feel the pain or I did and it was nothing compared to the horror of being felt up by a strange looking, smelly stranger. So, I walked home from Kisementi to Bukoto.

I had had it and I felt like I only had myself to blame, see, I hate taxi, I detest them. In fact, if I don’t have a car, my mode of transportation is boda bodas. All the boda boda riders around my home know me so well that they even transport me for credit. And they’ve taken me everywhere, bunga, mukono, lubowa, you name it, I’ve been there on a boda boda. For the record, I’ve had so many small accidents on them, 3 nearly serious and one major one where I ended up with a broken wrist, broken ankle and a cut on my forehead.

The difference with boda bodas is that you only have one person to deal with, no noise, sweaty smelly people, long stops, weird conductors, etc and they are really fast. Me likes speed, I am grossly impatient. Of course, they are more expensive but I would gladly pay whatever they charge to avoid taxis.
So, I avoid taxis as much as I possibly can and thus yesterday, I ended up staying in the office till 9pm, all in the name of waiting for a lift. I have resolved that until I have a car fulltime, boda boda it is. Which reminds me, I need to call up Bright, my almost everyday boda guy and discuss a retainer………….

Loving life

2008-11-21T18:50:00.003+03:00

Its friday, its going to rain but i am just happy, i don't care.

Its been an extremely long week for me, have barely slept these last two weeks and i've been working, monday through to sunday so i am really glad the week is over and i can get some rest this weekend.

I'm also happy because the kids are home from school so i can see my little loveling. He's in boarding school so i miss him terribly and so i try to make up for all the lost time. So, no working weekends or late nights when he's around.

OBAMA!!!!

2008-11-05T17:00:00.001+03:00

I am suffering from a serious case of Obamania. I am beyond ecstatic, America has its first black president and my hero has moved a little higher in my estimation. I admire the man for his charisma and his oratory skills. Whenever I hear a speech of his, I am left spell bound. He embodies hope for me. Now I know that if you believe, then you can achieve. There are no boundaries other than those you set for yourself. I know I can be anything I want to be, I can do anything I want to do. He truly is a hero to me. Even if he had not won the election, I would still feel the same. The power of belief!!!!

Another long day at work.

2008-10-27T20:35:00.004+03:00

Its past 8:30pm and I am still in the office. This is not unusual for me, however, when i left my last job, I promised myself that I wouldn't work so hard. Yet, I'm barely hanging on....here I am once again, I'm torn into pieces......Sorry, I digress, that is actually the first line of the chorus to "Behind these Hazel eyes" by Kelly Clarkson. I listen to Rock a lot as I work, well, all the time.

I was saying that yet here I am once again working late. My fingers hurt, my head hurts, my knees, my eyes.....in short, there is no part of my anatomy that isn't feeling it. My eyes, knees and back are seriously threatening to let go but still i press on. If you see any typos, i beg to be forgiven.

Anyway, i am wondering why i am literally killing myself on a daily basis. Is it in an effort to climb up the career ladder? Is it to make more money, that should come with climbing the social ladder, right? Then hopefully move on into the state of comfortable living. And by this I don't mean living in opulence, i mean the state of not staring in horror whenever i see my landlords caller ID flash across the screen of my phone. In fact, i look forward to the day, i don't have a landlord anymore, mine thinks he is a calender. From the 25th of each month through to the last day of the month, he keeps calling everyday and the conversation goes something like this;

"Hi, how are you? today's the 27th.....I just thought you should know. Anyway, i hope i will be hearing from you soon" All this while i am thinking, gun please, i need to shoot someone through the phone. Of course, I know what date it is. There are calenders everywhere i turn, newspapers, etc basically, i know what date it is because i have to think of handing over a very huge chunk of my pay check to you. You don't have to remind me of the fact that i will soon be penniless and you penniful!!!!

Enough of the raving, my girlfriends and i are a very ambitious bunch and i am quite sure that the discussions we have would be shocking for most people if they heard them. Well, for the most part, its legal stuff but then you have days when we are all so broke that we plot bank robberies and schemes of the Temangalo magnitude and sometimes, growing heroin, cocaine or whatever ( hee hee, J, i haven't forgotten). We do this whenever we are really broke, which is a lot and then we revert to the legal money making schemes but that never quite seems to work because they all need capital, ie; money.

Lately, i look around myself and wonder whether there is really a legal way of making a lot of money in this town. Anyway, i don't want to make a lot, just enough...but then again, that's relative.....
Anyway, i have come to the conclusion that if i get the opportunity to do a Temangalo, i will carefully explore the opportunity, of course with the intention of taking it. The trick is not to get caught....
Like one supposedly bright radio DJ once said, but what's wrong with taking a gift that you've been offered?? Its a crime if you ask for it, but if you are given that its ok, right? Food for thought!!!!

BBA3: First impressions

2008-08-28T22:13:00.004+03:00

I never ever thought i would be blogging about Big brother Africa. Perhaps because i don't get the point or like whatever it is anyway. As such, i didn't watch much of the first two "seasons" save for the highlights. I didn't even know that BBA3 was starting this last Sunday so i missed the opening ceremony or whatever it is called. Then there I am on Tuesday night flipping through the channels, as always and there are a bunch of people in blue overalls making a racket, then it hits me. I tried watching for a while and i was really bored. I haven't been able to watch for more than 5 minutes at a time but being idle is a dangerous thing, i have watched quite a bit of the show due to the fact that i have spent 90% of this last week on my couch. Today, i actually watched about 30 mins worth of the show and the housemates were doing this weekly task. A presentation of sorts about their respective nations of origin and i must say, i did not expect some of them to be as articulate as they were but surely, Munya the Zimbabwean takes the cake.

I know i am supposed to be patriotic but there is a lot missing from the Ugandan guy Morris. He seems kind of lost whenever there is a conversation going on and hardly contributes. Last night the housemates were discussing the global economic crisis in relation to Africa and my dear brother Morris looked on and kept yawning as if they were talking about rocket science or astro physics. I am sensing an immense deficiency in the upstairs department. Needless to say, the other housemates seem really intelligent, well read, well travelled, well spoken etc in comparison to him. Anyway, he is trying to get by on his looks and the fact that he seems to get along with just about everyone. Oh and the tanzanian chic Latoya has a thing for him.

As of now, i would say i like all the guys except TK who seems a bit aloof. The guys are fun and entertaining and i really must say, not too hard on the eyes. Ricco-the fun loving Angolan, Munya-the articulate, intelligent Zimbabwean, Uti, the entertaining Nigerian. Am still watching and analysing the characters but i must say amongst the girls, Sheila the Kenyan is really loud!!! Constantly talking her mouth off, using foul language, insulting others, quite obnoxious if you ask me. Don't think she will last very long. Of course, they'll vote off the boring girls while they keep Sheila for entertainment, then off she'll go. I kind of hope she goes first but we might be bored, well at least we'll still have Uti, Ricco and Mimi to keep us entertained.

Shaggy and The Dark Knight

2008-08-18T21:27:00.004+03:00

Its clear that I have been away from a computer for a while, intentionally and unintentionally. Well, I would like to serenade you all with the details of my time away but its all too much, I'll stick to the extra interesting bits.

I really enjoyed last weekend, I spent it with two very good looking men, I can't complain, can I? Anyway, as we go along, you will realise that I didn't really "spend" the weekend with them but for lack of a better word....

Saturday started off with a call from one of my girlfriends reminding me that we were all to go see the gynaecologist that afternoon. The previous Thursday at our usual coffee get together, my girlfriends and me had discussed cervical cancer in detail and agreed that we should go get tested, together, for emotional support. That’s my friends for you. In the end, we discovered that the tests are only done during the week so we have now agreed to go together this Wednesday morning. I’ll let you know how that goes.

On to the next business of the day, Shaggy’s concert. Three of my girls and I finally made it into the venue after being pushed, shoved and practically mashed at the entrance. We spent those horrific moments between trying to make sure we still had our purses, toes, etc and vowing to get VIP tickets next time and un-vowing when we thought of how we would have more fun in the “general happiness” section. Surely enough we did have so much fun. We managed to make our way to the front because most people were disinterested in the “passa passa” dancers on stage; they were all waiting for Shaggy himself. When the man finally appeared on stage, the powerful beats of “church heathen” in the background, we were dumb founded. I concluded that pictures do indeed lie; the man is so much more gorgeous in person, he borders dangerously on being called a beautiful man! He has such a beautiful smile..........Ok, I must stop myself before this thing takes over (wonder what it’s called, what’s the opposite of testosterone?) But seriously, we needed a fire truck there or at least some rain but God seemed intent on letting us be tortured. In addition to looking like a black Adonis, Shaggy has a really great voice and is a brilliant performer. He knew exactly how to get and keep the crowd exhilarated and he did precisely that.

In other news, that same night across the city, the Miss Uganda finale was taking place. Seeing the pictures in the next day’s paper made me thankful that I hadn’t been there, I would surely have laughed or cried in pain. The girls’ make up looked liked my four year old nephew had done a painting experiment on their faces, it was truly a makeup experiment gone bad, really bad? By the way, did they judge the winner on the basis of who had the most make up on?

I am not a cinema person; I really do prefer those pirated DVDs, my old TV and my couch. I like to have the chance to rewind, forward, pause etc. The cinema is just dis-empowering for me but on Sunday night, I went to the cinema to watch The Dark Knight. I now think Sunday night is the best time to go to the cinema, few people, less chaos though I still miss having the remote. Anyway, if you haven’t watched it, you should. It really is a good movie, especially because of the props and the special effects. The storyline is dark as per the title and for those of you like me who like happy endings, there isn’t one in this movie. I kind of miss the Batman story where the hero always gets the girl, “Kiss from a rose” is still one of my favorite songs. By the way, the movie has no memorable soundtrack, only classical scores here and there, nothing to sing along to. Those were the disappointments for me but it was all made up for by the car and the bike that Batman rode, I don’t think it gets better than that. Got some pictures to give you an idea of why my mouth was open for a while during the movie. I am a real biker girl and I have always had a bike fetish, I actually tried to learn how to ride a few years ago (I would attach a picture if I could find it) My poor sense of balance failed me once again but I keep promising myself that I will learn, one day soon, watch this space.

In other news, September is bound to be the month of change for me, I start my new job on the 1st (I am moving to a new advertising agency), and my birthday is on the 3rd and so much more. I’ll keep you posted but in the mean time, I’m off to watch “Big love” which I must write about because the story line is quite intriguing. Till next time.

Me time!!

2008-07-30T16:33:00.003+03:00

This kind of seems like one of Baz's fictional office stories. I also sometimes sit silently in the corner like the proverbial fly on the wall and observe going-ons... One of the guys at the office was having a conversation with the accountant and it went something like this:

Time: 4:45pm, Friday.
ACC: Please prepare the orders for client X before you leave for the day.
GUY: Huh, I can't start working on those orders now. It will mean I have to leave here late. And then I will have to work on Saturday morning as well.
ACC: But you have to prepare the orders so that the client's ads can run on Monday morning. You know that if you don't then the campaign has to be pushed by a day.
GUY: This is really unfair. I have never left this office at 5pm and I intend to do so today. I need to spend more time with myself.....

OK, this was the part where I started laughing hysterically. The guy was refusing to do his job so that he could go home and spend time with "himself" You will be forgiven for thinking he has been missing "himself" for so long......hee hee!!!

Anyway, I want to take some time off work, a week perhaps. I am not going to spend time with "myself" but I am just going to be away from the office, which is a blessing at this point.
The thing is I feel I need to go away following my boda boda accident 2 Thursdays ago.....

The story is not nice at all but the long and short of it is that I was rushing to the office at 8am when the rider of the boda boda I was on thought he couldn't wait and decided to go straight across the junction only to get half way there and realize that he wasn't going to make it across fast enough to avoid being hit by the car to the right.
He decides to swerve sharply to the left without considering that there was another car coming from that direction. Suddenly, he is struck by the fact that he is about to be smashed by two cars and his mind goes blank; he loses control and leaps off the bike. I am sent flying to the ground landing smack in front of the car on the left and the bike landing on my left leg.

The only reason why my picture did not appear on the obituary pages is that the lady in the car to the left suddenly braked after seeing a smartly dressed lady lying in the middle of the road with a bike on top of her. At this point, my dear friend J would add "my life flashed before my eyes..." But I can't describe my thoughts at the exact moment besides the one clear one which was, thank God I decided to wear jeans today.....

I broke a bone in my left wrist, twisted my left ankle and everything else you can imagine. Thankfully, the only thing that ended up in a cast was my left hand. I actually went to work after the accident; I had been given an injection for the pain so I felt like I could make it through the day, not realizing that I was partially numb. When the injection wore off, I was in such pain that the tears were blurring my view of the computer desktop and soaking the keyboard.
I was trying to finish up on a client's project because I knew no one else could do it and that I wouldn't be able to make it to work the next day. Well, I took Friday and Monday off and was back at work on Tuesday because I knew that a lot was piling up on my desk.

I guess I did not give my body enough time to heal and it’s really complaining, so much that I have decided to take a week off to recuperate. I also need some "me time" Time away from this office is really what I need at the moment, I guess, I feel too stifled and disillusioned, for lack of a better word though I think disillusioned is the appropriate word to describe how I feel at the moment.

Anyway, I am off to write my sick leave email and then am heading home to give my aching shoulders some rest while hoping to God that there will at least be electricity at my place tonight...

Long time

2008-07-24T14:21:00.002+03:00

I know i have been away for a really long time and i don't know what to say about my disappearence, only that i am glad to be back. Hope to catch up soon.X.

Drama at its best!

2008-06-13T13:13:00.006+03:00

Episode 15 of the Apprentice Africa began with a phone call from Lillian to Eunice asking her to gather the other three contestants in the living room to await a conference call from the CEO in 5 minutes. The call from Mr. Shobanjo began with him telling Eunice that he hoped she wasn't missing the USA that much. She replied in the negative which was of course to be expected.

The CEO went on to deliver the week's task which was for Nutricima Limited, a branch of PZ Cussons. The two teams were to conduct market research and present a long term launch strategy for Nutricima's latest product, Power Fist Plus, an energy drink. Whichever of the two teams presented better research findings and a better launch strategy to the Nutricima executives would win the task.

The four remaining contestants then headed to the Nutricima offices for a briefing from the marketing team led by Uche Ofodele, the Nutricima marketing director. They went on to provide the two teams with the basic product info such as origin, packaging, retail price, and the like. Then it was time for the product tasting which was a crucial part of the research and strategy. After the tasting, off they went to the streets of Lagos to conduct their research.

Matrix Corp started off at a basketball court, sampling the most obvious target for any energy drink, sports enthusiasts. They arrived at the court armed with sachets of the product, water and of course Eunice's charm. She was able to get the ball players to sit down, taste the product and give their views. She asked all the relevant questions and the best part of all, team Matrix had all of their research on tape, so later at the presentation, they were to present footage of their sample audience's views as opposed to slides on a PowerPoint presentation, more effective, i must say.

Eunice and Isaac went onto carry out product sampling of the product on the streets of Lagos finishing off at the taxi park. They identified the taxi drivers as part of their core target audience considering the number of hours they spend at the wheel and the constant need to stay alert.

Zulu Corp conducted their market research at a market. This was not a really good idea, i believe. One of the shop keepers was completely unwilling to help Blessing with any information and the more she tried, smile and all, the more rude he became. To him, she was just interrupting his business unprofitably. Deox was out in the crowd trying to get views from the people in the market but no one in his audience was interested in helping him. Their aim was to get as much of the product and as many giveaways as they could get their hands on. Subsequently the two were mobbed by throngs of people in the market place.

It was quite clear that Zulu corp were more daunted by the task at hand than Matrix Corp when they spent the night awake, brainstorming and such as Matrix members slept like babies. The two members of Zulu were clearly not working together and this would spell doom for them in the near future. At one point, Deox is seen typing on the laptop and when Blessing comes in to express concern about the time factor, he says he can handle it and off she goes. She goes on camera to complain about how slow Deox was. Not at any one point was she seen actually trying to take charge of the situation. Was she just scared off by the man's massive physique? one can only wonder.

Presentation time and Matrix was up first. Eunice took the Nuticima executives through the research that they had conducted and she presented them with a video catalogue of views and comments as opposed to the usual numbers on a power point presentation slide. This got the Nutricima executives very excited as they got to see and hear for themselves what the public had to say about Power Fist plus. Isaac then presented Matrix's recommended marketing strategy to launch the product onto the product onto the Nigerian market which included PR, promotional campaigns, and the like. Their presentation was very detailed and organised but what i personally found to be disappointing was the fact that they had failed to put a cost to their strategy. As such, when one of the executives asked Eunice how much it would cost them to implement the said strategy so as to attain the 250 million Naira in 4 quarters that Matrix had projected, Eunice did not have a straight answer.

Zulu Corp's turn came soon enough and their presentation was almost sleep inducing. Blessing made an unenthusiastic attempt to explain their research to the Nutiricima executives and it was clear that she wasn't trying too hard to convince them. I can only imagine what Eddie would have done in such a situation, that man had a knack for making you believe whatever it was he was he was saying, whether or not you understood t was irrelevant. As a dear friend of mine would say, Eddie could sell ice to the Eskimos!!! Well, Blessing apparently wasn't trying at all. It was quite clear that she was seeing that presentation for the first time in her life as she stood in front of the Nutricima executives.

Zulu Corp was questioned about why they only went to one location to carry out their market research and Blessing cited time constraints and the traffic jam. At this point you would be forgiven for thinking that Matrix had done their task on another planet or another city where there were no traffic jams and more than 24 hours in a day..

The most humorous moment was when Blessing said that if Nutricima used their launch strategy, they could have sales of 50,000 cartons a day. This first caused everyone to raise their eyebrows, they then looked at one another and burst into laughter. And the team's response was, in the future, why not? Talk of trying to salvage that which is so obviously lost.

The boardroom session began with Mr. Shobanjo singing praises for Uche Ofodele such that she was left blushing. He went on to say that she knew her onions in marketing and therefore he would rely on whatever she told him.

She began by saying that she and the rest of the Nutricima executives were very impressed with the fact that the two teams had come up with such good results in such a short period of time. She said both teams had given them old and new feedback, some things they had heard before, some they were hearing for the very first time. On her impressions of the two team's presentations, she said that Zulu had listened to them and focused on improving product availability and increasing the retail market. Matrix had listened to the customers and come up with a full comprehensive presentation including variant research, a promotional plan which as quite impressive.

She went on to say that in choosing the winning team, they had decided to pick on the strategy that was clear and that Nutricima could implement quickly, that is in the next month. And the winning team, Matrix Corp. The CEO corroborated her decision saying that he had looked at the two presentations and it was a very well deserved win for Matrix corp since their approach was more wholesome and well rounded. He said that after all that hard word, they needed to unwind and therefore their reward was spa treatment at the Nail studio and spa. We were later to see Isaac blushing at having his hands massaged by a lady at the spa, in fact, i think he was blushing the whole while Eunice looked at peace.

Back to the boardroom where drama ensued. Deox said it was Blessing's decision to conduct the research in the market and that if he had not called one of the distributors later, they would not have gotten the valuable information from his point of view. Blessing was refuting every word that Deox said so much so that the CEO asked Deox what exactly he had contributed to this task. Deox went on to enumerate all the work he had done on the presentation and the marketing strategy, everything fell on deaf ears.

The CEO put Blessing to task regarding their choice to sample only one location during their research. He hopeless defence included lack of time, traffic jam...the CEO found this to be ridiculous, you must understand they were in the same city and time zone as Matrix Corp!!

Mr. Shobanjo went to tell Blessing that he had reports saying she had gotten quite emotional on this particular task and why was that? Her response will go down as one of the most famous lines of the Apprentice Africa "I worked on this task and am a human being sir...."

"So is Deox!" the CEO replied.

He had just signalled the beginning of Blessing's torrent of words. She said that Deox was extremely slow and so had frustrated her on the task. She said he was typing so slowly on the laptop. The CEO asked her why she hadn't taken the computer from him, her response was "he wouldn't let me!" There were gasps of disbelief in the air. Well, according to Blessing, Deox wouldn't let her take the laptop from him so she decided to go to her room and cry, oh and she made sure everyone was aware of her impending emotional breakdown.

It was really comical watching the look on the CEO's face. He appeared in shock that someone had made his little girl cry!! He went on to tell Deox that he had received the same reports about his speed or lack there of. Deox denied this at which point Shobanjo became incensed "Are you calling me a liar?" Psychological warfare at its best. At this point it was clear that Deox had lost the battle and that any attempts to save himself would be like a drowning man clutching at straws. The CEO appeared to consult with Mimi and Paul but it was clear that it was a foregone conclusion that Deox would be fired and so he was, fired! And the Oscar for best performance in a reality show goes to, you guessed it, Blessing Njoku from the Apprentice Africa!!!!

Deox was one of the strongest contenders in the show and it was sad to see him go but we all recognise that Blessing outplayed him because she knew she could emotionally manipulate the boardroom decision while he thought that the CEO's sanity would prevail, that was not to be the case. To Deox, i say, well done. At least you left with your pride and integrity and we can at least think of you as an adult!

If you have been watching this show from the beginning, some things are very clear. In this particular case, Blessing appears to be the typical teacher's pet. From the beginning, she appeared to have mastered the art of playing victim and she got away with it on every single occasion. This is the only boardroom appearance where she has not opened the flood gates of her tears for the camera. But she did so every time her team lost such that the CEO out of concern would ask her what the matter was. What i find immensely disgusting is this childish drama from a full grown woman! I once said there should be a movie titled "Confessions of a full grown drama queen" starring Blessing Njoku. Now it should be even more compelling. Watch out for "The Victim" starring her royal highness the queen of drama herself, Blessing!!!

I have the utmost respect for Mr Biodun Shobanjo and though sometimes i have disagreed with his boardroom decisions, i still respected him. The one thing i find embarrassing is that he has continuously fallen for Blessing's emotional displays and let it cloud his judgement. That i find deplorable. He has always fired PMs for failing to rally their members to victory and not taking responsibility, where did all his lessons disappear to now? He concentrated too hard on seeing Deox as the big bad wolf against his sweet little red riding hood. Deplorable i must say but there is redemption for the show to some extent. I have been trying not to let this slip for those in East Africa but i can't help it, Blessing was fired in Episode 16. It was the interview stage and the decision wasn't up to Mr. Shobanjo and so the panel concluded that she was too manipulative! Finally, someone saw what we have been seeing all along. To me, if Blessing had won the Apprentice Africa, any credibility that the show has would have gone down the drain with her tears of joy.

From the grape vine, i hear that there is no way a non-Nigerian can win this show but i will still keep my fingers crossed for Isaac because he deserves it more than an American, at least he's African, Ghanaian to be precise. Just imagine how it would sound saying an American won the Apprentice Africa. All for Isaac, rise up!!!!!!!

Functionality and practicability

2008-06-04T08:41:00.003+03:00

The opening sequence of episode 14 of The Apprentice Africa took place in a school playground and thus it was easy to guess that this week's task would involve children. Well, I hoped it would make this episode more interesting than the last one; children are always fun, adults...hmm, not so! The 5 remaining contestants met the CEO and his advisors in the playground of Abbey junior school for the delivery of the week's task. Mr. Shobanjo said the 5 of them should be proud of themselves for making it thus far in the competition and at this point they were at a critical stage where one little slip could bring you down. These words were surely to resound later when someone was given walking orders.

The task was to design, create and present 2 original uniform sets for the students of Abbey junior school. 1 set for the female and the other for the male pupils. Mr. Shobanjo asked the contestants to pay attention to style, practicability of the uniforms, the realities of the environment and the needs of their clients. He said their designs would be presented to the executives of Abbey junior school who would then judge both teams on the basis of originality, functionality and marketability. The team with the highest score would win the task.

The contestants were then ushered into one of the school's classrooms for a briefing by Ms. Odeleye, the school's administrator. In an effort to guide them, she asked them to bear in mind the texture, weather, durability of the fabrics because they were designing uniforms for little children between 3 and 10 years of age. She explained that although the children worked hard, they played hard and that their designs should consider the playground and be able to stand the test of time. She also informed them that the school's colours were actually yellow and green although it had never been reflected in their uniforms which were red and white. She therefore asked them to consider these two colours in their designs.

Eunice was project manager of Matrix Corp and Tunde was PM for Zulu Corp. How the two teams arrived at this, we have no clue but I am assuming rotation because it is the only explanation I can give myself as to why Tunde ended up as PM on this particular task. This was the beginning of Zulu corp.’s problems. Blessing was excited about this particular task as she loves working with children and it was easy to see her enthusiasm as she drew designs of uniforms on the blackboard. Deox was impressed with her creativity unlike Tunde, the PM whose ears were glued to the words of the consultant his team had been provided. Deox said Blessing is a very intelligent and creative person who unfortunately does not push forward her views and ideas. She had brilliant ideas for the uniforms but she chose to shut up when Tunde trashed them. She just withdrew into herself and resigned herself to doing what she was told. At this point, it was clear that if the team lost, Tunde was definitely going home.

At Matrix corp., things were running smoothly and Isaac and Eunice were working very well together. Eunice expressed great admiration for Isaac's passion. When he got excited about something, he did whatever it took to see it through. The last two members of Matrix corp. sat together, discussed and decided on everything together. They decided to come up with two uniform sets, one for the pupils from pre-school to Primary 2 and the other set for primary 3 to primary 6. At one point, they decided to have a pinafore and shirt for the girls in the lower section. Eunice came up with the idea of having the shirt inbuilt so as to have one piece. This idea was discussed and incorporated into the team's designs.

This was not the case at Zulu corp. Tunde placed Blessing and Deox in charge of purchasing shoes and socks for the models and preparing them and the venue for the fashion show. Tunde and his chosen sidekick, the uniform consultant went out to buy the material for the uniforms and later to the tailors. Blessing and Deox played their part perfectly as per Tunde's instructions.

On the day of the fashion show, Zulu corp. got to go first with Tunde presenting the models onto the runway and explaining the designs. Their fashion show was titled "A new me" No one appeared excited about this apart from Tunde, clearly this was his idea.
The Zulu uniforms were of checkered yellow and green shirts and blouses whereas the shorts, trousers and skirts were green in colour. For the lower primary section, they had a dress for the girls and a short sleeved shirt and shorts for the boys. For the upper section, they had a skirt and blouse for the girls and a long sleeved shirt and trousers for the boys. Their uniforms had three questionable features;
1. The checkered pattern
2. Long sleeved shirts.
3. The green satin strips on the shirts.

When they asked for questions from their audience, the first question was about the long sleeved shirts and Deox stepped in to answer as to why they chose to have long sleeved shirts for the boys in the upper section. He said that this was done so that the students of Abbey Junior School could stand out from the other children in the other schools in the area. Was this a classic example of shooting from the hip? Later in the boardroom, Deox said that they had decided to have long sleeves after speaking to the older students and realising that they wanted to wear long sleeves to look like their fathers and also because of the air conditioning in their classrooms. I must say, his second attempt at the question was a lot better than the first one. I was actually shaking my head in wonder along with the school's administrator after that first answer.

Matrix corp. presented their models with their designs after modeling lessons from Eunice, herself a former model. She noted that teaching the kids how to model required patience and understanding. Matrix's models were less enthusiastic than those of Zulu corp. on the catwalk but the focus was on the uniforms. Matrix corp. had decided to use white and green. For the lower section, they designed a green pinafore for the girls with an inbuilt white shirt and for the boys, a short sleeved white shirt and green shorts. For the upper section, they had a white shirt and green skirt for the girls and for the boys, a short sleeved white shirt and green trousers.

When questions were invited, the first one was about the fact that on the pinafore for the girls in the lower section, the zipper was at the front. Eunice explained that this would make it easier for the kids to dress themselves as opposed to if they had to reach back and try to zip from the back. She was also asked about the shorts for the boys in the lower section and whether they had an elastic band at the waist. She answered in the affirmative saying that this would make it easier for the little boys to get them on and off as opposed to having to manoeuver buttons or zippers.

In the boardroom, the school administrator informed them that even before they presented their designs, the school executives had had a discussion on what the focus of the uniform designs should be and the basis on which they would be judged. She said that they had unanimously agreed that overall emphasis would be on functionality, after all, the students were in school to learn. At this point, foreboding was visible on Tunde's face.

Ms. Odeleye congratulated both teams on a job well done. When she finally got round to announcing who had actually won the task, she said that Zulu's designs were nice, colourful and cheerful but on the basis of functionality, Matrix corp. won the task. According to her, the Matrix design was functional, simple and not distractive whereas the Zulu design was fashionable but lacking in functionality. The results basing on the fabric, comfort, design and finishing were Matrix 53 points and Zulu corp. 42 points.
Matrix corp.’s reward was a celebrity photo shoot at Fruition which greatly excited Eunice and Isaac. On the Zulu side of the boardroom, Blessing was on the verge of tears as is always the case whenever her team loses. Tunde was unsettled and kept shaking his head in disbelief. Deox was very calm, it was like he knew exactly what was going to happen.

When it came to who should be fired, Deox asked Tunde to do the "honorable" thing and resign instead of wasting the CEO's time. Tunde took great offense at this and went on to defend his skills as a leader citing his various "leadership achievements" church inclusive which had Deox rolling his eyes and the CEO completely unimpressed. Every second thing he said was, "the lady said this, the lady said that..." in reference to the advice he received from the uniform consultant. This was his coup de grace.
It's like Tunde knew that his demise from the competition was imminent because he did not try to pin anyone down for their loss but went on a futile attempt to convince the CEO to keep him on. The more he talked, the more everyone was convinced that he really did not have a chance as the winner of the Apprentice Africa. I am sure he would have gone on talking if the CEO had not stopped him to deliver his final verdict.

The CEO went on to tell Tunde that most times he is congratulated for successes that he can only attribute to the members of his team. He said that no leader relied solely on the advice of outsiders as opposed to his own team. He reminded him that it was supposed to be a team effort and that he had wanted to see their creativity not that of the uniform consultant. He said the uniforms they designed could be worn by the kids to parties not to school. Inevitably, Tunde was fired.

I don't understand how Tunde could get it so wrong after the words practicability and functionality were repeated so many times in so many different forms. He managed to come up with haute couture uniforms for Nigerian primary school kids! Perhaps he and his uniform consultant can set up a haute couture shop for uniquely designed children's clothes, they could make a killing and who knows, this way, he could eventually make the 250,000 US dollars a year that he flushed down the toilet......I truly doubt it.

What's happening?

2008-05-26T09:51:00.004+03:00

I really don't get it, i don't get it at all. I thought that as the competition went on, The Apprentice Africa would get more interesting but i have been proved terribly wrong. If you watched Episode 13 and didn't doze off at some point, congratulations are in order. If you actually understood what went on throughout the task, you deserve a standing ovation. It was the most boring Episode ever!!!
This last week's task was boring, perhaps because they were selling soap but i strongly doubt it. It was just that, boring.
Am really at a loss of words as regards the last two episodes, perhaps that's why i haven't written anything till now and even now am really struggling but as usual, I'll do the best i can to review both.

Episode 12's task was about Corporate social responsibility where the CEO stressed the importance of giving back to the society. To illustrate this was Bank PHB's national scholarship scheme. The contestants were to make public performances to raise money for the Bank PHB sponsored Victoria Island secondary school. They were to be given a choreographer to work with and access to the National Art Gallery to practice and perfect their performances. They would then make their performances at Galleria shopping centre however, the rules were that no one was allowed to print or prepare any materials to advertise or promote their performances.

Next order of business was picking project managers and this was basically done through rotation because everyone had been PM before. By simple rotation it was Kathleen for Matrix and Regina for Zulu Corp.

Zulu corp then made an emotional visit to Victoria Island secondary school to get a feel of the situation on the ground, get to know the children and their needs. Matrix corp on the other hand went about planning their performance as Zulu was looking for inspiration.

Matrix decided on a short skit about a little orphaned boy forced to sell bread on the streets instead of going to school. Zulu decided to perform a monologue so that at any one time there was only one person on the stage while the rest would move around collecting money.

Matrix was seen distributing fliers at Galleria the day before the performance which was against the rules but they claimed that Zulu had done the same thing though off camera.

On the day of the performance, both teams had a group of young people to help with collecting the money not the performance. Matrix corp was up first and they made a very compelling performance with Isaac as the young bread seller, Kathleen as his poor widowed mother and Eunice as the good Samaritan who eventually helps send him to school till he graduates and becomes a doctor. People were captivated by their performance and as it went on, the volunteers went around the crowd that had gathered collecting money.

Zulu's turn and they took along students from the school for the presentation. Deox opened the show with a loud gong calling people out of their shops this was his only contribution to the performance, he then went off to collect money. The public address system and projector they had hired for so much money failed to work. so they had to scream at the top of their lungs to be heard. The monologue involved Blessing, Tunde and Regina coming on stage one at a time and making a short speech of sorts asking for donations. It was quite plain and boring as compared to the Matrix show.

It was therefore no surprise when Matrix was pronounced winner however there was no prize because both teams had cheated and the CEO was really angry and lectured them on the importance of integrity. When got to to firing time, Regina brought Deox and Blessing into the room thinking that Blessing would support her and they could oust Deox on the grounds that he was the one advising her to concentrate solely on making money.
Deox of course defended himself quite well, no surprise, the man is a lawyer. When Blessing was asked whose fault it was that they lost, she pointed a finger at Regina because it was her idea to do the monologue and they had lost due to the creative aspect or lack thereof in their performance. At this point, nothing Regina could say would help so she was fired. No surprise there.

On to Episode 13, the task was for Jagal Pharma, makers of Tetmol soap. The contestants were to use their personalities as well as marketing skills to convince the already authorised distributors to purchase larger quantities than they usually did. I think the show's producers specifically organised to have the most difficult distributors because they gave both teams such a hard time.

At one point, Kathleen was so aggravated by one of them that you would think she was about to slap him. She was so rude to him in the way she spoke and her body language that everyone was shocked. Blessing on the other hand, tried to endear herself to her tribesmen, the Ibo whereas Tunde resorted to his local dialect to try to convince one of the female distributors.

At one point, Zulu corp closed a deal with one gentleman only for Matrix corp to convince him to cancel that deal and make one with them. Deox was not amused that Matrix had "stolen" their client. It was later ruled that it was completely legal and that the client had the right to change his mind.

In spite of their "stolen" client, Zulu corp was declared winner of the task for two reasons; they had better customer care in their tent and they also made the most sales. In the boardroom, the three remaining members of Matrix had to face the CEO. Isaac, when asked who was responsible for their loss said it was Kathleen. He blamed their loss on her aggressive character, short temper and poor customer care. He said she always treated people badly and in this case, their clients.

He also pointed out that on top of this, she had made the least sales in the group and when Eunice was asked if she agreed with Isaac, she hesitated but she finally said she did. Without further adieu, Kathleen was fired. Kathleen was given very little chance to defend herself, understandably because i believe the CEO had been told of her behaviour on the day and this together with the fact that she had made the least sales made her the obvious choice for firing.

I sincerely pray that the next Episode will be interesting because i can't doze my way through it and then write a review. If you're still reading this, I hope you didn't doze through it, and if you did, i forgive you, i understand.....

one by one they fall

2008-05-12T16:26:00.006+03:00

Episode 11 started off with the 8 remaining contestants gathering in the Troyka quadrangle just like the previous week. The CEO noted how much the number had reduced then went on to deliver the week’s task. Each team was to create a non alcoholic drink which they would then have to sell at a popular shopping mall in Lagos. The team with the most profit would win and the objective of the task was to test the viability of small businesses in Africa.

The CEO appointed Eunice and Blessing project managers for Matrix and Zulu Corp. respectively. They were to pick their teammates but retain team names. Eunice picked Kathleen first whereas Blessing picked Regina first. Blessing went on to pick Deox and Tunde leaving Eunice with Nnamdi and Isaac. The new Matrix team therefore comprised of Eunice, Kathleen, Isaac and Nnamdi whereas Zulu Corp had Blessing, Tunde, Deox and Regina.

Deox went right to work with his new team and we could see him lugging polythene bags full of sachets of water to the house and working together with Regina to come up with different cocktails using the different concentrates they had been provided with. Tunde was in charge of designing the logo for the team’s drink with input from the other team members.

At Matrix Corp, Kathleen and Eunice bought fruits to mix together with the provided concentrates to come up with the fruit cocktails. Nnamdi and Isaac were sent out to do the graphic design for the team’s logo. They quickly discovered that they weren’t going to be able to afford to hire someone to do the graphics for them so they decided to do it themselves. Nnamdi also had the idea of leasing a juice dispenser for the day as was able to negotiate a really good deal for the team.

On the day of the task, Matrix Corp was positioned at Entrance 1 of the Palms shopping centre whereas Zulu Corp got Entrance 2. Deox was quick to note that this was a disadvantage for his team since Entrance 1 had more traffic with people heading into Shoprite and Game stores whereas Entrance 2 had less traffic. He said that they would not let that hold them back and they would be more aggressive with their sales.

Matrix Corp used the juice dispenser in one location and their strategy was to lure customers to their stall to buy the juice of their choice. Zulu Corp on the other hand had individually packed juice cups which they divided equally amongst themselves and everyone was to move around the mall and make maximum sales on the cups they had received. It was agreed that if the team lost, the person who brought in the least amount of revenue was going home.

Deox took the motive of profit making to heart and he was selling his juice at a minimum of 500 Naira per cup and for as high as 1000 Naira whereas his teammates sold for between 200 and 300 Naira. At Matrix Corp, a cup of juice was going for 250N and when the first batch got finished and the team had run out of cups, Eunice bought more cups and the cost was cut to 200N.

Zulu Corp quickly sold out their juice and Deox and Regina rushed back to the house to make more cocktails only to discover that the room was locked and they failed to locate the key. The team then resigned themselves to their fate and prayed and hoped that the sales they had made in the morning would be enough to keep them out of the boardroom.

Boardroom time and the CEO was bemusedly disappointed that none of the teams had kept him some juice to taste. They told him that they had completely sold out which was a good thing. Back to serious business, Mimi and Paul were asked how they teams had performed specifically their costs and gains. Mimi said Matrix Corp had spent 31,035 Naira and earned 84,680 Naira therefore their profit margin was 53,645 Naira.

Paul said Zulu Corp had spent 12,200 and had earned 72, 795 Naira from their sales thus their profit margin was 60,595 Naira. Matrix had sold more but they had also spent more so they lost the task. The new Zulu team had won again and the Matrix jinx continues!

Zulu Corp’s reward was a day of relaxation at the beautiful Takwa Bay whereas Matrix Corp was to remain in the boardroom and try to apportion blame as is the trend these days. Nnamdi and Eunice had an all out war in the boardroom where Eunice accused Nnamdi of misleading her on pricing whereas he accused her of over expenditure. Eunice chose to bring Nnamdi and Kathleen back into the boardroom, her reasons being that Nnamdi was the weakest player in the team and that Kathleen could corroborate her story against him. Nnamdi took this very personally and was incensed to the point where am quite sure that if it wasn't for the fact that Kathleen was in between them, not even the CEO would have stopped him from slapping Eunice.

Eunice said that she had asked for Nnamdi's advice as a resident Nigerian on what price to charge per cup and he had told her that if she charged anything over 250N, people would laugh in her face. Nnamdi later admitted that he had indeed said this but that this was not the reason that they had lost the task but it was due to her unnecessary expenditures. He said that she and Kathleen had bought fruits that they did not even use, something which Kathleen vehemently denied. At some point, he tried to shift blame to Kathleen who accused of having done nothing on the day because she stayed at the juice machine expressing juice while the rest of them went out to bring in customers. The back and forth was seriously on the verge of getting physical if the CEO had not called a time out.

Mr. Shobanjo went on to pass his judgement. He berated Nnamdi for not adequately advising Eunice on pricing yet he had been on the winning Zulu team for their very first task where skipping ropes were sold at way more than the average price. He said he was disappointed that the team had failed to harness their strengths and use them to win the task at hand. He said he believed that Nnamdi was very aggressive and had failed to work well with the rest of his team mates and for this reason, Nnamdi was fired.

I believe that Nnamdi's time had come. The only reason he has been able to survive this long is because Zulu had always been winning but in the event of a loss, he was always a target as he had been singled out as not being a very strong contender. Next week, if Zulu Corp loses, Tunde is the target and you can be sure that if Matrix loses again the ladies will oust Isaac.
The plot thickens and the drama continues....

Finally!!!!!!

2008-05-06T19:19:00.005+03:00

Episode 10 of the Apprentice Africa began in a different fashion from the norm. This time round, there was no phone call. The contestants gathered in the quadrangle at Troyka Holdings where the CEO introduced them to the heads of the various companies that make up the Troyka group eg; Halogen Securities, The quadrant company, Insight Communications, Mediacom, etc

The week's task was to come up with a marketing communication strategy for emerging businesses in Nigeria. This was to be a wholesome task involving conceptualisation, a media strategy, media plan, PR strategy as well as creative output.

Matrix Corp was down to 3 members; Blessing, Regina and Nancy whereas Zulu Corp. had double that number with Nnamdi, Isaac, Dex, Kathleen, Eunice and Tunde. The CEO asked who from Zulu Corp would volunteer to join Matrix Corp as they were outnumbered and before he had finished the question, Eunice's arm shot straight into the air.

Eunice's reason for crossing back (according to her) was that Matrix needed all the help that they could get and she believed that having experienced 3 straight wins at Zulu Corp, she would be in position to help propel her team to victory since she knew how both teams operated.

Her joy and enthusiasm at returning to Matrix Corp however was very short lived. This is because Nancy appointed herself Project Manager and Eunice had hoped that it would be put to a vote. She herself was hoping to be PM and since she lacked confidence in Nancy's abilities as a leader, she predicted trouble ahead and oh, was she right!!

At Zulu Corp, Tunde volunteered to be PM and he noted that this was a precarious position to be in because if the team lost, the PM would certainly be sent packing. In the event of a loss, Kathleen was the target at Zulu Corp. This is easy to understand as her aggressive and strong character make her a formidable opponent and the strategy is to get your strongest competition out of the way. Eunice sniffed this out at Zulu Corp hence her return to Matrix Corp. There will certainly be a lot more conniving and drama as the contestants reduce in number.

There was chaos at Matrix Corp. The team was disorganised, constantly bickering and they were completely unable to agree on what direction to take. Regina was very concerned about the team's issues and hoped they would be able to work through it, alas, this was not to be....

Nancy as a leader.....well, in Blessing's words, "she is a really nice person, inside and out but she is just not a leader" In Episode 1, she led her team to a loss but this time takes the cake. She was constantly changing her mind and the team's direction which was quite disturbing especially to Blessing and the very outspoken Eunice who questioned her every move and decision to the point where am sure Nancy would have loved to fire her from the team and in a way, she did.
At some point, the team had agreed to focus on agriculture in Nigeria and the surrounding opportunities. After meeting executives from Troyka, Nancy changed focus to Power to the total bafflement of her team mates.

At Zulu Corp, everything was coming along smoothly and sanity prevailed. Team members were assigned roles and everyone did their part. Tunde was in charge of creative, Deox was handling the media plan, Nnamdi was handling PR, whereas Kathleen was in charge of the strategy.

Presentation time and Zulu Corp was in first. Their campaign was titled WIN (Wealth In Numbers) It highlighted the best opportunities in Nigeria such as tourism & hospitality, real estate, food and agro processing. They made a wholesome presentation including a media strategy and plan, a television commercial showing a foreign investor in Nigeria encouraging others to come and do the same. The part of the presentation that was questioned by the Troyka executives was Nnamdi saying they would allocate 1 quarter of the budget to PR. Nnamdi was asked how they came to this conclusion and whether they had actually costed the campaign. They had a quick lesson in media planning then and there. They were told that it isn't a must for 1 quarter of the budget to be allocated to PR but that budgetary allocations were determined by the overall strategy and the budget.

Matrix Corp's presentation left a lot to be desired. First of all, Nancy came up with a brand, EBIN (Emerging Businesses in Nigeria) which was not very creative as this was actually the topic of the task. She went on to say that their biggest medium would be print specifically in flight magazines....
Instead of a TV commercial, they presented a story board citing time constraints. Nevertheless, no one in that boardroom seemed excited about it, actually, they looked rather confused. Its rather difficult to write about it because it was so confusing and not interestingly so, i must add.
The radio commercial wasn't any better....First, it was way too loud and completely uninspired such that one of the executives from the Troyka group could hardly contain herself, she actually started laughing.

Then it was Regina's turn to take them through the website they had created, only there was actually no website but print outs of what it should look like. Regina did her best to explain everything in this area but she was soon lost for words at question time.
First, they were put to task about the absence of an actual media plan whereupon Regina said they had a schedule and a budget amounting to 1 million dollars for a year which led to more and more questions and when asked to break down the numbers, the whole team was speechless for a while till Regina tried again to redeem the team. Some of the Troyka executives were really amused by the way they were squirming.

To the Boardroom: The CEO noted Tunde's nervousness then went on to introduce his associates from Troyka who would deliver the verdict on the task. The Troyka executives said the Matrix presentation was really lacking specifically because they did not adequately define who they were targeting with the campaign and he also cited deficiencies in their choice of media.
Zulu Corp was praised for the WIN idea. However, they were criticised for not following through with this brilliant idea in all of their communications. On the plus side, Zulu was praised for having a very coherent strong team. It was a tense moment when the Troyka executives were asked who had won the task but team Zulu breathed a sigh of relief when they were announced as the winners and there were no looks of shock at Matrix Corp.

Zulu's reward was lunch at La Scala restaurant with the president of the Nigerian stock exchange. They were also given plagues and certificates of achievement from the Troyka group. For team Matrix, it was time for war.

The CEO was so disappointed with Matrix Corp and when he asked Blessing what had gone wrong, she cited lack of focus as the reason for their loss and then went on to blame Nancy without actually mentioning her name. Regina cited lack of team cohesion. When it was Nancy's turn to speak, she went through who was responsible for what and then went on to defend the "focus". She also said that she had been advised by the media executives to change from agriculture to power but that nothing else had changed. which is quite ridiculous if you ask me...She said some people had just failed to understand the focus of the task.

Eunice's turn and she blamed the loss on Nancy's leadership. She went onto detail all of Nancy's errors during the task. At this point, it was clear that there was a personal war between Eunice and Nancy.
The CEO questioned Blessing's dormancy at the presentation and she defended herself and Eunice brilliantly, putting more nails in Nancy's coffin. Nancy refused Eunice to participate in the presentation but took her along only as a story board holder, Blessing refused to participate because she knew the presentation lacked depth and that if she was put to task by the executives to explain certain aspects, she knew that she would be lost for words.

The CEO asked Nancy how come they had delivered so little whereas they had the same time as Zulu Corp and they had managed to make a full presentation. He was puzzled by the absence of a TV Commercial and the web page whereupon the girls started bickering and Regina said that Nancy kept changing the direction.

When asked who she would be bringing back to the boardroom, Nancy excused Regina and the remaining three started to fight for their lives, literally. Nancy said she brought back the two of them because Blessing had a defeatist attitude whereas Eunice had a self righteous attitude. Blessing accused Nancy of lying and having problems with understanding English. At this point, i felt like screaming cat fight!!! because this was actually what was going on albeit with a little subtlety.
At the end of it all, The CEO stated that he was usually amazed whenever people clamor for leadership roles without first assessing themselves and their capacity to deliver as leaders. He went on to tear apart their presentation and cited lack of coordination and proper leadership. On this basis, Nancy was fired.
No surprises there. It was only a matter of time before Nancy self destructed and appointing herself PM for this time was a terrible mistake. She has been responsible for quite a few of Matrix's losses most notably in episode 1, 7,9 and 10 where she did not survive.

Many viewers have constantly been amazed whenever Nancy survives being fired and in a society that loves drama......unsurprisingly, there has been a theory going around that the CEO has a thing for Nancy or that there is something going on between the two. This i believe is completely untrue and it was just a matter of time so this time round, the bell had tolled for Nancy and i doubt that she will be missed.

Jinxed??????

2008-04-28T10:21:00.007+03:00

What is happening at Matrix corp. cannot be described as a jinx any more, it is something else. I once said that Matrix Corp would be wiped out one by one till they were all gone if the show's producers did not do something. They tried and at least Eunice and Kathleen will have a longer life span on the show as members of Zulu corp. Not so Oscar and Eddie who were shifted from Zulu to Matrix, this signaled their demise. Last week, Oscar concluded that Matrix was jinxed and it’s really hard to argue with that at the moment.

This week, the spotlight was on Celtel. The CEO called Isaac on his Celtel blackberry phone and asked him to assemble everyone for a tele-conference. The week's task was a marketing task for Celtel Nigeria. Celtel Nigeria wanted to market their Celtel red phone or the Jembi phone which allows the caller to pay for only what they use. The task was two fold in nature. The first part involved each of the teams working with a Jembi phone operator and convincing people on the streets to make a phone call using the phone. Whichever team generated the most money in this task won. This part of the task was judged out of 60%. The second part of the task was to come up with a marketing strategy for the Jembi phone in Nigeria and make a presentation to Celtel Nigeria executives. This would be judged out of 40%.

Zulu corp. decided to have Isaac as their project manager, something Eunice was very happy with citing that this was his second time as PM and that he was a well rounded leader hence his team mates’ trust in his ability to lead them to victory. Matrix corp. chose Eddie as he was the only member of the team never to have been project manager.
Matrix corp. was down to four members whereas Zulu had a two man or as I would rather say, a two woman advantage.

Both teams were briefed by Celtel officials and given a chance to ask questions. Isaac requested for any market research that the company had and also categorically requested that Matrix corp. NOT be given the same research unless they asked for it. He said the same thing when he requested for promotional materials such as T-shirts, caps and the like. Eddie later asked for the same in their session with the Celtel officials. This highlights how tough the competition is and how determined everyone is to win the task. We would later see how far Eddie was willing to go to win the task.

Zulu corp.’s strategy on the streets was to use emotional appeal to lure customers to make calls. For instance they would ask you to call your mother just to tell her you loved her. This meant that they had to interact with the customers and Kathleen got a chance to meet and chat with two Cameroonian ladies. Soon, they had people lining up at the little Celtel kiosk and because there was only one phone, there was a long waiting period and some people decided to leave hence drastic measures to keep them there.

As if this was not enough of a set back, there was a power cut in the area where Zulu corp. was operating and the battery of the Jembi phone. The team had to work fast to find a generator and recharge the phone’s battery enough for customers to be able to make calls. This lost them some more customers.

At Matrix Corp, Eddie’s personality was once again shining through as he managed to convince people to come to their stall and make calls. Blessing and Nancy also had the same task whereas Regina's was to take care of customers at the stall. Eddie went a bit far in his bid to bring people to their stall. He offered people Celtel merchandise if they made calls on the Jembi phone to their friends and loved ones. Calling abroad got you more merchandise and so people were actually calling so as to win T-shirts, caps, etc

Phase one of the task over, it was time for the boardroom. Zulu Corp presented to the Celtel executives first. Their strategy focused on billing mechanism which allows customers to pay for only what they ask for or what they use. They also had time lines for projected growth. Their presentation was very organised.

Matrix corp. on the other hand focused on the social nature and giving back to the society. They proposed Celtel creating jobs for the poor and disabled in Nigeria. Eddie tried to apply his personality to wow the Celtel team but they were focused on what was on the projector screen and the figures they showed. Matrix corp. has computed projected growth in figures amounting to over 2.6 billion Naira by 2011. Michael Folly of Celtel questioned how they had arrived at this and Nancy who had done the computations was speechless.

In the boardroom, the CEO started off with his usual lessons. He then went on to admonish the Matrix team for over fraternizing with customers saying that the competition wasn't about making friends with the customers but about business. Isaac in his team's defence said that they had to talk to the people and create emotional appeal to make them come and make calls at their stall.

The CEO then went on to criticise Matrix corp. for the use of Celtel merchandise to "bribe" customers into coming to their stall. This, he said was unacceptable and completely against the rules he had set for the task and Celtel company policy. Eddie was quick to defend his team saying that he had read the dossier and that wasn't in it. The CEO would have none of it so he went on to invite the Celtel executives to give their verdict of who had won the task.

Micheal Folly said that they had not seen a lot of creativity in the two presentations but he applauded Zulu's presentation as well as their handling of the Q & A session, especially Deox. The verdict on their part was that Zulu corp. had won the task based on the fact that they had a good understanding of the business model of the product and their presentation too.

Matrix had brought in the most revenue from their stall but the way they earned the revenue was against the rules. On top of that, their financial projections were horribly wrong. The Celtel team had done a check and discovered that they had over shot by 1000% hence questions were raised about the validity and credibility of the rest of their presentation.

Zulu Corp had survived the boardroom once again!!! Their reward was dinner at the Yellow Chili restaurant with a surprise guest.
Back in the boardroom, Eddie cited the fact that they were outnumbered as the reason why they had lost the task. The CEO said they had concentrated on the first part of the task and neglected the presentation and as such they had presented a completely unprofessional marketing strategy. They had earned 60 out of 60% in the first part of task but they neglected the second part and so Zulu had won.

When asked who was responsible for the financial projection disaster, Eddie said it was Nancy but he was taking responsibility because as PM he should have double checked before the presentation. When he was asked who he was bringing back to the boardroom, he decided to spare Nancy saying that she had become a veteran of the boardroom and he said he was asking Blessing and Regina to "escort" him. Ideally, he had just sacrificed himself for Nancy because there was no way she was surviving had she reappeared in the boardroom. Plus the CEO wasn't about to fire either Blessing or Regina.

So back in the boardroom, it was time for Eddie's funeral procession. Everyone understood that Eddie had decided to sacrifice himself and so it was a real funeral as the girls and Eddie cried as the CEO gave his final lesson to a man many had bet would be the first Apprentice Africa. It was a really somber farewell, the look on the face of Mr. Shobanjo and on those of his advisers was really sad and my heart broke too.
Fare thee well my brother, the Matrix jinx got you!!!!

Episode 8 - The African Spirit

2008-04-21T09:26:00.007+03:00

Episode 8 starts off with Eunice having lunch with Deox and then the phone rings. Eunice picks up and is told that the two teams should meet the CEO and his advisers at Troyka Holdings, one of Mr. Shobanjo's companies.
When they arrive, the board room table is filled with art supplies. Mr Shobanjo discusses the importance of art and then runs them through the week's task which he says incorporates creativity, organisational abilities and business acumen. The task is to create original art pieces depicting the African spirit. They are then to exhibit their art pieces at the Nimbus underground art gallery where a team of art buyers will grade them and the team with the highest score wins.

This task was really interesting because all the contestants were completely out of their depth. None of them had any real experience with art (except for Isaac who has just a little) and Regina later confessed that the last time shed had drawn anything was back in kindergarten. The CEO in an effort to make things a little easier for everyone sent the contestants a guide by the name of Chike, an artist himself and the proprietor of Bogibiri House and Nimbus gallery where the two teams would be exhibiting their finished work. He also brought with him two friends and fellow artists, one for each team.

Regina volunteers to be project manager of team Matrix on the basis that she was the only remember of that team that had not taken on that duty. Nancy wasn't too happy with this saying that she had wanted to be project manager again so as to redeem herself for her team's loss when she was the leader. For Zulu Corp, Deox stepped up and he said that he believed that this was the hardest task they have ever been given and therefore as PM, his only strategy to win and not end up in the boardroom.

Both PMs proceed to assign duties and the soft spoken Regina managed to get her team to work in sync, something which has never really happened. Eddie noted that she was a very wonderful leader as she continuously appreciated every one's efforts and also offered constructive criticism in nice but firm way.
The two teams headed to Nimbus to look around the gallery and seek inspiration and ideas from the exhibited art work as well as to plan their own exhibitions. Blessing really enjoyed the tour saying that she was really amazed and that it was an eye opening experience. She also expressed renewed respect for artists. Deox assigned the task of organising the exhibition venue to the two ladies, Eunice and Kathleen and they took their duties to heart.

At Matrix corp, Nancy and Oscar were given the job of creating art paintings whereas Blessing was entrusted with the organisation and Eddie was appointed creative director. At Zulu corp, Tunde's creativity was impressive. He and Eunice went out together in search of a calabash and sand which he later used the sand to come up with a wonderful collage depicting Africa and the fact that are one people in spite of the diversity in colour, race, cultures, etc

Exhibition time and there was a bit of an argument between Matrix and Zulu about exhibition space. Apparently, Zulu had booked the lounge and when they arrived, Matrix had started setting up there but the dispute was quickly resolved.
Zulu wore uniform attire, black suits for the guys, no ties but a scarf around the neck whereas the ladies wore black strapless dresses with the same scarf around the neck. Matrix corp wore different clothes but made of African fabrics or with African designs.

Zulu corp came up with the brilliant idea of having an auction and Kathleen did a brilliant job auctioning their works most notably Tunde's collage which brought in a large percentage of their revenue. Tunde noted that the CEO's dossier on the task also mentioned business besides just creativity and that they had decided to pay attention to this because art is subjective and so they had no control over that.

On seeing how well Zulu was doing with the auction, Eddie quickly decided to do n=one too and lured the art buyers to the Matrix corp section after Kathleen was done with them. H e went on to tell the buyers that their room was air conditioned before he quickly got down to business. Perhaps because it was haphazard and unplanned, Eddie seemed anxious to sell and just went through it all without bringing in that much revenue.

In the boardroom, it was Mr Shobanjo and Chike on the other end of the table. Asked about how the task went, Regina noted that her team had for the first time since the beginning of the competition, worked as one and she compared it to a football team.
Deox said that the task had brought out hidden talents in each of them. He requested that their earnings from the exhibition be used to buy books for the children of Ikaare island where they had their first reward as Zulu Corp. He said that while they were there they had befriended the children (remember them playing soccer together?) and that as they were leaving, he had been approached by a little boy called Victor who requested books especially mathematics. The CEO was really impressed and everyone's hearts were warmed by this gesture. Deox appears aloof and introverted so it was nice to see him express such strong emotion.

The CEO gave a lesson on the importance creativity and the need to rise up to any challenge. He then asked Chike for his impression. Chike said that he was greatly impressed by the unexpected creativity in each of them and it was pointed out that he was wearing a T-shirt which was one of their creations, Blessing was very pleased as it was her handiwork. Chike went on to praise Regina's job as the team leader and also specially noted Eddie's efforts during the exhibition. He also applauded Zulu corp's idea of having at auction at the exhibition.

Final results; Zulu corp earned 68,000 naira whereas Matrix Corp earned only 50,000 naira and the verdict of the art buyers was that Zulu Corp was the winner. The members of Matrix were crestfallen whereas Zulu corp rejoiced and Deox breathed a sigh of relief.
The CEO noted that when judged on the basis of creativity, it was a close call, the results were Zulu 293, Matrix 292. However, he had told them that he would be judging them on the business side. So on this front, Zulu had won fair and square. Their reward was a trip to New Metro where they would watch movies, shop, have coffee and generally enjoy themselves.

Back in the boardroom, Regina was surprised that they had lost the task while Blessing was in tears. When asked by the CEO her take on the task, she said that for the first time she had worked under an effective leader and the difference between success and failure was the element of passion with which her team had done the task.

The CEO put Eddie to task to explain how they had failed and yet their team had a better location within the gallery. Eddie was quick to offer himself to be brought back into the boardroom saying that he felt responsible because he could have gone for higher prices during the auction. The CEO told him that if you do not dare, you do not achieve and that if you don't dream, you can't actualize. He said that the onus was on them to ask for prices that they felt reflected the value of their original work. Regina reiterated that for them it wasn't about the money but about the message and that it was from the heart......the CEO was quick to set her straight.

Anyway, Regina decided to bring Oscar and Nancy back into the boardroom to the CEO's disgust. They were the same two who had been sitting before him the week before. Fingers were pointed at Oscar because he stood at the entrance and did not apply himself to other duties when the team was short staffed. He on the other hand blamed Nancy for spending too much time with particular clients. When asked to defend himself, he only managed to put forth a feeble defense saying he had generated the largest number of art pieces in the group. This was not enough for the CEO and it did not help that earlier Mimi and Paul said they had not been impressed by him and that they weren't sure what he brought to the team.
This together with Regina's input signalled the end of Oscar's stay on the Apprentice Africa. So it was good bye for Oscar and a really stern warning for Nancy. The CEO said she cannot be three times lucky.....

Today, I weep.

2008-04-17T19:42:00.003+03:00

Today, I weep.
My heart bleeds,
for the mother whose child has been snatched,
by death's cruel hands.

For the mother,
who will never see her little angel's smile again.....

For all those great women to be.......
whose flames were so brutally extinguished
before they had a chance to shine......

I weep for a nation,
robbed of a future generation.

Today, I weep,
for every life lost in the Budo junior school fire,
May their souls rest in eternal peace.

Tragic or what?

2008-04-14T14:49:00.006+03:00

Is there an English word to describe a person who fails to learn from other people's mistakes and goes on to make the very same mistakes? You would think by now every contestant in the Apprentice Africa would know that if you volunteer to be project manager there are things that you should do and should not do.
I believe the CEO gives lessons on leadership in every episode but apparently, these fall on deaf ears as the trend of firing project managers seems to grow with every episode. At this rate, the CEO is going to have to force someone to be PM as I am sure everyone is reluctant to put their necks on the chopping block because it is almost a certainty that if the team loses, the PM is going home. This has brought on a bit of criticism of the CEO because surely you can fire someone else for instance in this case, the problem was clearly Nancy and she was the reason that Matrix corp. lost. Maybe, Mimi, the CEO's advisor didn't inform him of what really happened.
Nancy's actions or lack thereof led her into a fit of tears and Matrix corp. into fervent prayer. The desperation on the team was supposed to be depressing but I found it hilarious. The printers had failed to deliver on time and were not picking up her calls. She actually shed tears and then led the team in prayer!
Zulu corp. on the other hand was giving us all the laughs with Nnamdi at his usual best, bargaining at an open air market and comforting a little girl who was bawling her eyes out.
He asked her to stop crying because he didn't have money to pay her bride price o! In pidgin English, it was so funny. Meanwhile, Kathleen was showing us her skills in pidgin English and bargaining. These two together presented such a formidable force that those market people did not stand a chance.

Perhaps, am getting ahead of myself, lets go through the story properly.
This episode was different from the rest in that as opposed to a phone call that usually signals the beginning of the new episode and a new task, the security guard delivered a package to the house which Oscar received.
It was a letter from Mr. Shobanjo together with a DVD recording of his instructions for their next task. He started off by apologising for not being able to be there in person and launched into the assignment of the week. The contestants are given a quick lesson on the importance of branding and then asked to come up with a new brand identity for an undisclosed product.

The two teams were asked to pick PMs then and there and Nnamdi was chosen for Zulu corp. and Bekeme for Matrix corp. Then, in what was supposed to be an interesting twist, the CEO asked each PM to select one person and whoever she or he picked would then go to the opposing team. The core rule was that there was to be at least two men and two women on each team. This exercise went on and at the end of it all, Zulu corp. looked the same to me, the only difference was that Oscar and Eddie were now part of Matrix corp. while Zulu corp. had Deox, Nnamdi, Isaac, Tunde, Kathleen and Eunice.

Eunice quickly integrated into the Zulu team and we could all see that she loved it there. It’s easy to understand why and she clearly stated that at Zulu corp. decisions and directions were reached a lot faster than at Matrix corp. where a drawn out argument was compulsory before anything was done. She was clearly relieved and rightly so.

Eddie on the other hand was at wits end at Matrix corp. He went on to say that he now understood why Matrix had only been successful twice. He was close to pulling out his hair, fortunately, he doesn't have any. Oscar wasn't enjoying it either and Blessing was quick to note that the guys were being frustrated by Nancy and her often unclear trend of thought, argumentative and bossy attitude which often resulted in the team's inability to move forward on even the smallest of details.
The guys were so aggravated that Bekeme had to call a meeting where they were able to express their views. Nancy was quick to defend herself and promised to change but alas, talk is cheap, as they say. Bekeme did not put her foot down and draw the line for Nancy and this can be interpreted as a misguided expression of the camaraderie the two have.
Nancy and Bekeme appear to be close friends; the two have always got along like the proverbial house on fire. For instance, remember the fight that Blessing had with Bekeme when she was PM, Nancy was her back up......

Back to the task, the teams were asked to brand peanuts! or what we in Africa like to call groundnuts. Zulu corp. acted fast and was able to make quick decisions on direction, allocation of duties and such. Matrix on the other hand went on and on as usual, arguing or should we be diplomatic and call that debating?
Matrix corp. came up with the unoriginal brand name "nutty nuts" while Zulu corp. came up with" Zizi nuts" Each team then headed to a different studio to do the production of the product jingles. Zulu then went on to execute their brilliant idea of creating a mascot for their product and off they went to the market where Kathleen amused us with her bargaining and Nnamdi stole our hearts with his sweetness to the little girl.

Exhibition time and the Zulu corp. stall was more attractive with their mascot dancing about to the jingle they had recorded. At the Matrix stall, Eddie cleverly responded to the query about the absence of a mascot by saying that it was already incorporated in the product packaging. Makes me wonder, does the man have an answer for everything? Its quite impressive though, shows his ability to think on his feet. The rest of his team was just standing there.
After a brief classroom session with the CEO, it was revealed that Zulu corp. won the task and so they received their reward which was a stage drama presentation and quality time with the actors.

Mr. Shobanjo then went on to express his disappointment in the matrix team and the fact that there were before him for the fifth time. He said they were giving him an impression that women are weak yet he believes that in the real world, they are strong, hardworking and most often think better than their male counterparts.
Bekeme was quick to reiterate that she was surprised that they had lost the task and that her team had a strong brand. The CEO went ahead to tear apart the team's output, telling them that using a descriptor as their brand name was terrible, imagine if Omo was called "washy wash?" He also criticised the fonts and the colour combination of green and yellow that Matrix corp. had used.

At the end of it all, Bekeme chose to bring Nancy and Oscar back into the boardroom where upon everyone started passing the blame. Bekeme said Nancy should be fired because she had assured her that she knew what she was doing. Oscar was quick to defend himself saying that he had told the PM that the team was being derailed by Nancy and no action was taken.
Nancy made a feeble attempt to defend herself which did not suffice. The CEO went on to pass his verdict saying that as a leader you have the final say and no matter how much you have to accommodate advice from your team, you cannot justify a bad decision basing on advice you got from others. For that reason, he fired Bekeme.

On one hand, I think he was right to fire Bekeme as she showed weakness in her leadership and on the other hand, I think he should have fired Nancy. She has had it coming for a long time and is bound to continue being a non performing asset or derailing factor to whatever team she is on.
But then again, he knows what he's doing; he's the big boss, right?

Day dreams

2008-04-07T12:44:00.006+03:00

Due to unforeseen and unavoidable circumstances, the writer of this blog was unable to write for the last couple of weeks......blah blah blah
I wish i could come up with a really interesting reason for my absence like i was sequestered on a remote beach off the coast of Zanzibar, away from civilisation, no cell phones, no Internet......ha, this is what my daydreams are made of. Anyway, one can dream, right?
I mean if i was one of the contestants on the Apprentice Africa, I'd have a 1 in 18 chance of earning 200,000 dollars and i would actually have a shot at turning my day dreams into some semblance of reality. Someone please remind me to audition if ever there is another Apprentice Africa.

Its really easy to sit here and criticize the contestants' efforts and say you could have done this and that better but you really never know, do you? Its one thing to be confident in one's own self as i am sure everyone of the 18 was going into this competition but the reality is another thing altogether. Probably why they are no longer 18 and the number keeps dwindling every week to the point that an elimination/survival strategy has come into play especially in the Zulu corp.

The twists and turns in this competition could leave one a little confused if you don't watch carefully. This week, Bank PHB officials were so critical of Zulu's newspaper insert to the point that i thought someone was going to get fired there and then only for Zulu Corp to emerge as the winners of the task in the boardroom. This is actually not the first time something like this has happened but i guess they are entitled to change their minds or is it a case of the whole TAA team sitting down and deciding not who was the best, but which of the two groups did worse than the other.

In every boardroom session of the six weeks that the competition has been running, all the project managers have come close to being fired and in fact four of the six people fired so far were project managers. This whole business of someone stepping up to be PM just for the sake of it is quite ridiculous. I think one should assess the task given and decide whether you can lead your team to excel in that particular area..

In week 2, it was Michelle whose team Matrix failed to come up with a new, innovative, viable financial product for Bank PHB although she herself is a banker, so out she went. Her argument was that there is hardly anything new in the market so she decided to take already existing products, merge them, package them differently........

In week 3, Anthony's team failed to come up with a "combo" for chicken inn and to manage one of their fast food outlets for a day, well, some hours. As leaders come, Anthony is just not one. He wasn't where he needed to be and his argument later in the boardroom was that he assigned everyone tasks and he just expected them to deliver.

In week 4, Zulu corp picking Omar as their project manager was merely an elimination strategy as they knew he would suck as a leader and in the boardroom, they'd just kill him. Fortunately for them, this worked our perfectly as in a weird twist of events, team leaders were switched and Omar ended up at Matrix corp and Kathleen at Zulu.

Omar did not think too highly of his teammates at Matrix as he believed losing was in their DNA, etc, his words, not mine.I could say a lot about that but i won't make this personal, i will not let the feminist in me tear out his eyes though i want to. So Omar took on his role as a leader like an autocratic husband assigning duties to his various wives according to their strengths. It was quite hilarious, he actually convened a meeting and asked them each to tell him what her strength was.

Did i mention that the task was to decorate a hotel room to the standards fit for an international businessman like the CEO, an area where you would think that the ladies would excel but then again, its not always a certainity. At the end of the day, Matrix corp ended up with a very homely room in line with their theme of home away from home whereas Zulu corp had a businessman's room complete with a laptop.

Omar was later criticised by the CEO in the boardroom for not bringing a "manly" feel to the room and for not being an involved leader. He "supervised" and of all the people he could choose to take to the boardroom, he chose to take Bekeme and Eunice! two women with two very strong characters, he really didn't stand a chance and it was a foregone conclusion that he was going to get fired although he was strategizing to have Bekeme fired as she stood up to him, very vocally, i might add.

In week 5, Akatu got fired and i felt that it was just a case of somebody had to go and unfortunately it had to be him. I believe there was a lot more to him than he showed, perhaps it was just his strategy gone wrong in that he was biding his time before he gave us the best of himself. On the other hand, in whatever you do, you must always give your best, right? He had previously been criticized by Deox and Eddie for being flamboyant but with no actual results, more of a talker than a doer.

In week 6, Matrix lost and Joyce their PM ended up performing an act of self sacrifice. First of all, she picked the wrong people to take back into the boardroom, Eunice had come up with a solid concept and Regina, well, she is the nice little quiet sweetheart and she had actually worked hard on the task. She could have picked others on the team who had not had that much input. That said, she could not lay the blame on any of the two people she picked and so she felt like she had to shoulder it herself and on top of that, she was being "nice."

Now the debate is raging on whether this whole "integrity" thing is a Kenyan thing as Joyce seemed to echo Anthony in the boardroom saying she took responsibility for their loss. I don't agree, its completely a personal thing otherwise, this chaos with Kibaki and Odinga wouldn't be, would it now?

of drama queens and artistic guys

2008-03-10T15:32:00.006+03:00

For the sake of everyone watching the Apprentice Africa, i hope the humour continues. Its so unintended making it so much better, take for instance Omar's wonderful question “If you could choose any animal-what animal best describes Bank PHB?” I would pay to have been in that room at that moment but i might have fallen off my chair in laughter. Don't get me wrong, i appreciate the guy's artistic ability but lets just say, it was a little misplaced. If you saw the executives he was talking to, its hard to comprehend how he could have come up with such a question, makes you wonder, what was going on in his mind???
The mix in personalities is amazing and now that these personalities are starting to come out, its getting more interesting and i am sure it will get even better. One thing worries me though, the way things are going in 7 weeks, there may not be a Matrix corp. The show's producers seriously need to think of a new way of dividing the contestants. If necessary, let them draw lots! Matrix corp has too many issues at the moment and i honestly don't see things getting any better and now that Mr Shobanjo has dictated that Blessing is to be the next project manager.......i am going to church....to pray for Matrix corp.
Am sorry Blessing but what was that in the boardroom? For a moment there, i thought i was watching a scene from some horrendous Nigerian movie, all the drama! Anyone looking for movie ideas, here's a good one "confessions of a full grown drama queen" starring Blessing Njoku. It was an oscar winnning performance. Blessing would make a brilliant actress, she is excellent at the blame game and "the whole world is against poor little me"
She claims there is a clique in the house and blah blah blah so she could not voice her ideas........ to echo one of my favourite quotes "You only get out of it what you put into it. If you are a sheep in this world, you're not going to get much out of it" Greg Norman.
I am not writing her off, am still waiting to see her do her best, this next week will be a great opportunity. One thing is for sure though, if her team loses again, there'll be someone to blame, except herself of course and if the team wins, we will never hear the end of it, she's going to swell like a peacock!

The Apprentice Africa -Episode 2

2008-03-10T10:17:00.008+03:00

So many times during this episode i had to physically pull my jaws together after they had fallen apart in shock and to constantly stop myself from laughing like a donkey. I am still trying to find the words to explain what happened this week, this is to simply say, am yet to understand it in totality. I think i should desist from going to the jaw dropping moments and try to head out chronologically.

Episode 2 began with an air of excitement. The guys were excited because of their win last week and their reward. On their way to Bank PHB where they were to meet Mr. Shobanjo, the guys were singing songs from Shaka Zulu "we are going higher and higher and higher...." and Isaac was saying how everyone of them was going to give 100% of themselves.
The girls had a lot of determined talk going on understandably due to their loss the previous week and they were still mourning and analysing what had gone wrong the previous week, needless to say, the guys' minivan was a much better place to be, i don't like funerals, most people don't!
Last week, one of my friends said that he hoped they were given more challenging tasks than selling ropes and balls, his words not mine. Anyway, this week, the contestants were given the task of developing a new viable financial product for Bank PHB. Mr Shobanjo emphasized that the bank thrived on ideas (you've seen their ads, haven't you?)

Deox in a very democratic move called a meeting of Zulu corp where he asked them to pick a project manager for their task. Isaac stepped up and was backed by the whole team although Akatu admitted skepticism at the beginning. I must say, I was impressed with Isaac's leaderships skills this week. As for Matrix corp, Michelle was their project manager, how they arrived at this decision, i don't know but apparently they felt it was warranted as she's a banker.

The two teams were each given a chance to sit with the bank's top management to ask any questions they might have in relation to their task. Among other things the guys asked whether there was any bank customer research available that they could use. The comic part of this Q&A was when Omar asked, in a very serious and confident tone i must add, which animal of all the animals best described Bank PHB! The guys were in shock and i was laughing myself senseless, the look on their faces was priceless. The bank manager seemed very taken aback, anyway, we never got to hear his response.
check this out www.theapprenticeafrica.com/journal_detail.php?id=13

Apparently there is a storm brewing in the house between Omar and Tunde (he was the one most flabbergasted by Omar's artistic expression at Bank PHB) Omar said "who does he think he is, my mother?" This was because he had walked into the room at about 6am waking everyone up. Tunde said it seemed like the guy didn't have a lid (or was that leash?) for his mouth! This deep seated animosity is bound to affect Zulu corp and provide us the viewers with an immense amount drama.
Eddie in his calm and collected tone identified Akatu as their weakest link citing that he is flamboyant, a lot of talk but when it comes down to the ground, he doesn't follow through with action.
This time round, the ladies were very organised, no cheerleading antics in sight. The team work was impressive. Michelle noted that the ladies all contributed in one way or the other. Their presentation was brilliant in execution but lacking in the clarity. I mean, i was awed, they seemed to know what they were talking about and they managed to convince me that PHB zoom was the best new thing although i hadn't really got what it was. It seemed to be a combination of SMS banking and a kind of credit card service.....forgive me but i am not going to lose you any further.

The guys had a looming disaster on the morning of the presentation. Nnamdi (apparently he is too loud and boisterous) was sent with Eddie to print and bind the material. Eddie was supposed to be the voice of reason in Nnamdi's craziness, this worked as they got everything done in time.It was interesting watching the two interact, they are as different as chalk and cheese, at one point, Nnamdi asked Eddie to help him knot his tie and one insider in his review wondered how Eddie managed to restrain himself from strangling the guy with his own tie, hilarious, hilarious!
The guys identified a large target market for their product (students) that would indeed earn the bank some good Naira. The liPHBenefit account (life benefit account) to my understanding is supposed to be a kind of student's account whereby the money saved by students can be later used to further their studies, start a business, whatever they choose. Anthony was saying something like for every one naira saved, the bank would give you one naira (not sure, i'll ask him whenever he gets out of the house, hopefully not soon, still need to hear him doing that naija accent)

The long and short of it is that the bank management didn't quite get what exactly the girls were trying to sell whereas they understood the guys' product better and saw its viability. In the end, the guys won the task, again! The atmosphere in the boardroom was mixed, the ladies were on the verge of tears and the guys were ecstatic, more so when they were told what their reward would be, an Afrobeat show with Femi Kuti himself, son to the legend Fela Kuti. The boys enjoyed their reward thoroughly, they partied away and even got to chat with Femi, when asked how many women he has, his answer was vague but i am sure we all got what he was trying to say, i mean, its understandable considering his sire.......

Back to the boardroom, the ladies seemed shocked that they had lost again and when asked why they failed, they admitted to playing it safe with the ideas. They decided to go with what was already in the market and developing it into a better product. Michelle said "there's hardly anything new in the market anymore" The CEO was quick to remind her that people bear ideas for this very reason. Michelle chose to bring back Nancy and Blessing into the boardroom, in her position as project manager, i think understand why she did this. Nancy blamed Michelle for being in her bed while the rest of the team slaved away. Nancy was critical, questioning their every move without contributing concrete ideas whereas Blessing, well, lets say, her contribution wasn't felt. When asked why this was, she had some crazy reasons saying that the leadership was ineffective, that there is a clique in the house and if you weren't part of that clique, your ideas were instantly shot down (how lame is that for an excuse?even Napoleon stood on a table when he thought his voice wasn't being heard)
The CEO said he is is tired of her complaints about the leadership and that if she survived then she would be the next project manager. In the end, he fired Michelle saying that as a leader you've got to take responsibility for the team. He also said there were too many products in the idea they presented and that they were bound to just confuse the customer instead of giving the customer one solid product. This reasoning is being questioned, a friend of mine says he thinks a basket of fruits would be more attractive to customers than just one fruit.....the jury is still out on that one. (Maybe he knows what he's talking about, I guess thats why he's CEO,right?)

In my honest opinion, there was nothing really brilliant about the guys' product only that it was more original than the ladies' product and i guess that's why they won. It was a question of whose idea was a little better than the other not whose idea was earth shatteringly brilliant.

Demonstration effect???

2008-03-07T14:58:00.007+03:00

You remember these sun glasses, don't you?perhaps you even own a pair, right? Kanye West wore these designer sunglasses by Alain Mikli in his video for the song "stronger"
In all of his subsequent concerts, all the fans are wearing these sunglasses, its amazing. For the designer's sake, i would hope that everyone bought an original but how is that possible considering they are handmade and the concert had about 50,000 people…so they were obviously knock offs, kudos to the guy selling them at the entrance (am assuming that there was one)
Manolo Blahnik shoes were made popular by the hit show "sex and the city" with Sarah Jessica Parker as the columnist Carrie Bradshaw who couldn't live without her Manolos. I think this kind of influenced my love for manolos (the shoes are gorgeous!!!)
But seriously, i am wondering, how far does the entertainment world influence our lives?
I have just heard that Rihanna has banned umbrellas from all her concert venues after a man was killed by a poisoned umbrella. She has reportedly stepped up security to prevent people from bringing in umbrellas to venues where she is performing. Now seriously, what is wrong with us? We love music, we love our stars, we treat them like gods but how far can this go??? I love the song “umbrella” but what would possess me to carry one to Rihanna’s concert? What’s the logic behind it? I really don’t see it.

Mourning......my shoes!

2008-03-07T09:29:00.004+03:00

I could not believe it! There i was standing rooted to the spot in shock, staring at the piece of metal that had robbed me of my shoes. I know they were not Manolo Blahniks but i loved them! They were a strong, dependable, sexy yet classy pair of black heels. They have been with me through the good and bad times, they've been with me practically everywhere and now, they're gone......
I haven't gone mad and yes, i am mourning a pair of shoes. Two days ago, i put them on. They brightened up my rather gray morning and the day didn't seem so bad after all. Here's what happened.
Halfway through a meeting, i received an important phone call and the person on the other end requested to speak to someone who had just walked out of the room. In my haste to catch up with her, the heel of my left shoe got caught in a piece if protruding metal by the doorway. I surged forward and narrowly missed plastering my face on the ground below. Then i felt a sharp pain in my left leg and that's when i noticed that i had slightly twisted my ankle and that my shoe was broken!!!! Have you ever seen a broken shoe??? The tragedy at the moment was my broken shoe not my nearly broken leg or disfigured face! I still insist, i am not crazy, i am simply human, just like you.......
Have you ever noticed how attached we get to "things?" Everyone has that something, there are those ladies like me who just love their shoes. Guys love their cars. I find however that guys take this attachment way too seriously...they name their cars, etc and i have heard that some men will pick a car over a woman any day, i have heard! (but is it just hearsay?)
Reminds me of that song by Shania Twain "That don't impress me much" where the guy used to kiss his car goodnight and would ask her to take off her shoes before he let her get into the car.......

trying to please

2008-03-05T19:42:00.005+03:00

What's that saying...."you can please everyone some of the time but you cannot please everyone all of the time....." or something to that effect. We all want to keep everyone happy with us, we want to be liked by everyone, blah blah blah.....well, some people do, not me. Some people want to keep everything rosy and not ruffle any feathers sometimes even letting people walk all over them.
Then, there are those who just don't care what you think, feel, say,etc in a diplomatic way of course, saying things like "we respect your views and opinions but this is the way things are,thank you" Hee hee, i could give you a more direct interpretation of this statement but then again, i think that line would be censored but you know what i mean......

Episode 1 - The Apprentice Africa

2008-03-03T20:25:00.003+03:00

The premiere of The Apprentice Africa was interesting for so many reasons. For the first time ever, a show of world class standards was being done in Africa with everything African. African setting, African producers, African contestants, African CEO.
The CEO, a true African billionaire Biodun Shobanjo did his job to perfection in the premiere. He was no nonsense and if i was Nancy, i would watch out. He does not take kindly to "primadonnas" like Blessing and ineffective leaders like Nancy.

Anyway, let me bring you up to speed, i don't want to lose you. There are 18 contestants from across Africa, 7 Nigerians, 3 Ugandans, 3 Ghanaians, 3 Kenyans, 1 Guinean, and 1 Cameroonian.
The contestants are as follows;

Omar - Guinea
Regina - Ghana
Akatu - Nigeria
Anthony - Kenya
Nancy - Uganda
Michelle - Nigeria
Eddie - Kenya
Hannah - Ghana
Oscar -Uganda
Kathleen - Cameroon
Isaac - Ghana
Bekeme - Nigeria
Tunde - Nigeria
Blessing - Nigeria
Deox - Uganda
Joyce - Kenya
Eunice - Nigeria
Nnamdi - Nigeria

The contestants arrived and met the CEO, Mr Shobanjo and his advisers Mimi Fatodu and Paul Olaleye. They were then given their first group task under the watchful eyes of Paul and Mimi, putting together a small party area in the garden. It was interesting watching them trying to work together yet they had just met for the first time, the power struggles and egos made them take longer at the task than necessary but it was easy to see who had leadership qualities and those who had great organisational skills.

When the task was finally over and they were in the boardroom, the CEO asked how the contestants thought they did and who they thought was outstanding during the task, Nnamdi noted Nancy's ability to get things in order whereas Eddie noted Deox's ability to hold the team together and so two Ugandans were voted outstanding male and female. In turn, the contestants were divided by gender and Nancy was appointed project manager for the ladies and Deox for the guys. Kudos to Uganda!!!!! The first leaders in the house are both Ugandan!

The contestants were asked to choose names for their teams and the ladies chose Matrix corp with the rationale that a matrix is used to solve problems whereas the guys chose Zulu corp because of the strong African heritage of the name. Shobanjo noted that these were good choices and commended them for this. It's important to note that "matrix" was Bekeme's idea, i personally think she's one of those to watch.

Task 1: According to the CEO, life in Lagos is all about "hustle" and so the first task would involve the contestants "hustling" on the streets of Lagos. The guys were asked to sell skipping ropes whereas the ladies were asked to sell footballs, interesting, huh? The sole objective of the task was maximum sales and whichever team managed to achieve this would win the task and would be rewarded accordingly whereas the losers would end up in the boardroom where someone would be fired.

Zulu's strategy was to use health, fitness and patriotism whereas the ladies decided to use women supporting football in Africa. On paper, all of this sounded good but how well would it play out on the ground?

The ladies decided to stand at a high traffic point but i personally think this wasn't a good decision, the lights changed too fast and the traffic moved too fast for them to be able to convince the customers to buy. Oh and at the beginning they were in a group holding balls and singing "winner oh oh oh, winner....naija you'll win forever, pata pata you'll win forever winner....."
They managed to draw attention with this but did they sell balls? nope!

The guys on the other hand spread out and went out interacting with individual customers pushing the importance of fitness and supporting your country. However, at some point, the ropes seemed overpriced or are Nigerians just bargain junkies??? I don't know, i only think in terms of shillings not naira so i can't really tell. Anyway, the guys seemed to be doing well and Oscar even got a tip from a customer, Kudos Oscar (did i mention, he's Ugandan! Ha!!!)

Back to the Boardroom, when asked who he thought did best at the task, Deox was very confident saying that he believed his team had won the challenge by a margin of 64% and thank God the figures backed him up otherwise, that confident look would have been wiped clean off his face. So the guys won the challenge, they had more profits from the sales than the ladies.

Then the arguments began within Matrix corp about what or who was responsible for their failure, everyone somehow blamed Nancy's leadership, she on the other hand reiterated that she was not dealing with babies but grown women!
Kathleen's reasoning was so thoroughly trashed by Mr. Shobanjo that i wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Anyway, at the end of the back and forth, Nancy chose to bring back Hannah and Blessing into the boardroom. She cited Blessing's unwillingness to work as a group and her individualistic tendencies " I this, I that..."

Anyway, there was a lot of apportioning blame and when it was all over, Shobanjo said he could not understand how Hannah managed to sell nothing, not a single ball! Of course she tried to defend herself saying she could have sold the balls at a lower price than the agreed baseline which is mind boggling as the objective of any business is to make a profit, you cannot sell at a loss! On this basis, she heard the words "you're fired!"

Really, do you blame the CEO? I see his point, do you?

UB40!!!!!!

2008-02-28T20:08:00.001+03:00

UB40! ahhhh,UB40!!! My sister who i attended the concert with says am still having a UB40 hangover and i couldn't agree more! I still wake up every morning singing things like "here i am baby, come and take me, take me by the hand....." It was those once in a lifetime things, am very certain i will never see anything like that again in this lifetime. I was in a sea of people but it was like the band was perfoming just for me! It was like i was in that stadium all by myself but it was so great to sing along with the multitudes to songs we love so much. Red Red Wine is the first song i ever remeber learning really fast, my beloved late mother loved it so so much and from when i was a toddler, i watched her sing along and dance to it.......I have very emotional connections to most of UB40's songs that i cannot begin to describe such that if i had missed that show for any reason other than my death of course, i would never have forgiven myself!!!!!
The excitement has not yet worn off but now am really excited about The Apprentice Africa!!! 200,000 dolllars!!!!!